Recently I saw a photo of an old friend and his wife celebrating a wedding anniversary. It was a milestone but I don’t remember the number. In the picture he hadn’t aged too much. He was tall, thin and blonde when he was young and now he was tall, thin and gray. His wife was thicker around the body but attractive.
I mentally did the calculation on his age (he was and still is older than me) and I was stunned. He is close to 70. My memory of him is as a 30-year-old hottie. I am missing 40 years here. How does this happen?
My first company had 10,000 employees. It was an interesting place to work because each department was like its own company so it got to be family.
With that many people there were a lot of outside social events – baseball, bowling, golf and volleyball leagues, happy hours, holiday parties, etc. You would get to know a lot of people (but not all 10,000!).
Since I’ve moved back to my home town I occasionally run into people I worked with eons ago. More often than not I see something familiar in the face but the stuff around the face is throwing me off. Is it them? Do I see something familiar there?
Stuff like hair color, extra skin, wrinkles, extra weight (way extra weight) can change a person’s appearance. Sometimes even the posture changes to that head forward slump of the older person. (Good grief! Do I have that? I hope not!)
So do I approach them or not?
Sometimes I do and I am dead wrong. Other times the person approaches me and says, “Gosh, you haven’t aged at all.” Clearly, that’s a lie. A person has to age in 40 years. Maybe not as much as they did. Perhaps their cataracts need surgery.
About a year ago I ran into a couple that I hadn’t seen since the 1980s. I didn’t recognize the woman at all but the guy had the distinctive cleft in his chin that I remembered. Oh yes, I was at my parent’s grave right next their parents’ grave so I did have a clue who they were.
That night I went home and thanked my parents for their good genes. I have some of their nasty ones too but right now I’m all about those anti-aging genes that run in my family.
My brother, mid-80s, could easily pass for mid-60s. He would say it’s all the good living. I doubt that. I will stick to the good gene pool theory. My niece, early 60s, doesn’t look her age either.
We tend to be a thinner bunch of folks thanks to my Dad’s gene contribution and that helps.
I remember when my mother would see an actress that was her contemporary, she would say, “My God, she looks so old!” I never had the heart to note that they were her age. She didn’t have the thin gene but she aged well with beautiful skin.
In the end, it doesn’t matter much except to the pharmaceutical companies who are working diligently to lessen our wrinkles and our pocketbooks too.
BTW September is healthy aging month. So how are you doing with that?

Kate, It is always nice to have good genes! I love when people find out how old I am and look amazed, and I am not sure how I will feel about the gray when I see it. Unlike my Mom (earthriderjudyberman) I don’t think I can pull it off like she does. I guess time will tell. Great story
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Thanks! I am sure you will look great. They come up with better products all the time. I remember my mother always used Noxzema. I use things that have antioxidants and snake oil to stay young!
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If anyone is truly troubled about looking older than they want to, there are so many things a doctor can do without surgery to improve your looks. Not that I would know about any of that, of course.
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A friend told me about those things!
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Like you, Kate, I also inherited my parents’ good genes and don’t look my age (except for letting my hair stay gray). But my body betrays me and lets me know that I’m not a kid any more. 🙂
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You just can’t fool energy levels. I run out of steam way too fast!
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I think I look pretty good for an older woman. Then someone will see a picture of me when I was young and they say “you were beautiful!” What’s with the “were” stuff? I am still me. Do I look that different? Am I ugly now because I am old? Just ranting out loud.
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Yes, it’s like at funerals when they say the decease looks really good. Does that mean they didn’t when they were alive?
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Well, the thing is, inside I feel the same as I did when I was an 11 year old girl saddling up her pony and off for yet another excellent adventure, cap gun in hand. It’s when I look in the morning’s mirror and see that old bag staring back that I think, “Egad, who’s that?”
As my 83 year old Mum says, “Hey, aging beats the alternative, kid!”
MJ
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I am working on a mirror that takes off 20 years. If I can perfect it, I will be rich! It’s easier to fix the mirror than the body!
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I am counting on good genes too but I’m just proud to be a crone! Good post! Sometimes it is a shock to see someone we haven’t seen in 40 years or so…they always age so much!
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Thank God we don’t age like that!
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You’re right about the gene pool. As your brother and 16 years your senior I must tell you I just beat my age on the golf course. Eighty one is a great score at my age. I don’t attribute it to super skills or my “good looks,” but to the fact that mom and pop got together and set up a great gene pool that you and I are now enjoying. BTW, having said all that, I need to remind you that being 16 yrs older is a reminder that you have many good years ahead of you. DON’T THANK ME, THANK OUR FOREBEARS!!!
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Amen!
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Looking (and feeling!) younger than our stated age is a good thing! Cheers!
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Yes, indeed!
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I think we all age beautifully … at least in our heads 🙂
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Yes, it’s those dang mirrors….
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People tell me I’m to young too be fretting over my 50 or so gray hairs and the beginnings of wrinkles around my eyes. So I don’t fret, I don’t even think about it. Although when I look down at my hands and see my grandmother’s hands, it does get me to thinking…. really? Can those baggy knuckles possibly be on MY hands?
I’m ambivalent about aging. I’m vain enough to hope that I will always look younger than my years, but grateful for the years’ experiences that give me a whole lot more wisdom than any young person can have. I think I was something of a ditz and a weakling in my younger years, and never would want to go back to being that naive, inexperienced, head-in-the-clouds and, at times, just plain knuckle-headed.
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Great points. Hands are something that ages you. Every now and then I look at them an see my mother’s hands. Scary!
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I might start wearing gloves at some point. I could pretend I’m merely making a fashion statement–and maybe I’ll even start a trend! 😉
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No problem here…I always recognize you…even in a crowd at Wegmans. If I ever mistake your for a head of cauliflower, I’ll let you know 🙂
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I think my curly red hair is a dead giveaway, and I thought I had the thin gene when I was younger, but apparently not. Not at all. My idea of healthy aging is staying alive, lucid and mobile! Anything after that is icing on the cake. 🙂
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Lucid! I am hoping I have the lucid gene. We had one case of Alzheimers in our family so it’s there. Yes, curly red hair will give you away every time!
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Your poor mom! I am just like her though. When I look into the mirror, I also think, “My God, she looks so old!” Ah, if only I were wine. 🙂 Aging well or not, I am just thankful for the passing years I am able to celebrate.
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Considering the alternative, every day is a gift.
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Great post! I am glad that people still recognize me even though I am surely missing the “thin gene.” 🙂 LOL!
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I saw pictures of you and when you were younger and the biggest different (for me) was the darker hair. Other than that you look the same.
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