What happened to my armpits?

My Goodwill basket!

Don’t hate me but I weigh the same as I did when I graduated from high school many, many years ago. It has nothing to do with me. It’s my gene pool. You really have to pick your parents carefully. However, the weight isn’t at the same places. Just like aging people, some of it has migrated to other territories much further south. “They” say it’s part of the aging process and very normal.

Clothes fit differently. The burning question is, “what on earth happened to my armpits??” More on this later.

As a part of a major summer clothes clean out, I am forcing myself to wear the unworn stuff in my closet. You know what happens. You buy something but it isn’t quite comfortable or there is just something you don’t like about it so you don’t wear it. Maybe the clothes fairy took it in an inch so it doesn’t fit. You can’t throw it out or give it away because it’s new and hardly worn but you don’t wear it either. It’s gets pushed further and further back until it’s in a dark corner and you can’t see it anymore.

I pulled all the summer tops out of the dark closet corners and every day I wear one of them. At the end of the day, it goes into the wash and then it will either go in the closet to be WORN (very unlikely) or into the donation basket. I bet you can guess where most of them are ending up. No matter how logical your mind is, if it doesn’t feel good, you will find a million reasons why today is not a good day to wear it.

It’s been very traumatic for the cats who like to pull old clothes down off the hanger and sleep on them adding a layer of fur to the closet. Some of their favorites are in the donation basket. There is probably some fur in there. Hopefully I will get a tax deduction for that too.

Today I have a multicolored hot pink Izod t-shirt on. I like Izod clothes but the fit is weird. Some things are ok but some are cut skimpy. This one has tight armholes. I have the same armpits I had when I bought it and I am sure I wouldn’t buy it like this. So what happened? Did my armpits migrate to my chest? Or did it shrink in the wash or maybe the clothes fairy had her way with it. I have been having a hard time parting with it because the colors are pretty but today is the last day for it. Out it will go.

T-shirts are hard to buy. I like trendy looking shirts. You can always tell an old lady t-shirt. They have old lady prints and the sleeves look like they could cover a Mack truck. With my migrating armpits and skinny but flappy arms, I have to be careful to get the perfect fit.

Yes, I realize that t-shirts are out. I was at Macy’s today and the style is a skimpy tanky thing underneath with a big floppy asymmetrical cloth of some sort that has a hole in it. You put your head in the hole and it hangs attractively on your body. I tried one on and then I went back to the old lady t-shirt section and found one that wasn’t too bad – cap sleeves, solid color (which will highlight my eating activities nicely) and it was on sale.

I have one more week before the clothes truck comes to pick up my castoffs.

14 thoughts on “What happened to my armpits?

  1. Wish I was more like my husband who prefers cheap wine, cheap cigars and obviously, cheap women. My armpits are o.k. It’s all the rest that’s slipping south. Love this oh-so-honest post! 🙂


  2. Ha! I have a similar problem. I was ruthless not so long ago and got rid of a ton of stuff. Only problem is now I have to buy replacement clothes and nothing fits me properly. I can no longer shop in those young trendy stores because the sizes are not right. How did that happen? The waist is too big but I need a large to get my hips and butt over them.
    I also find I am in that in between stage at 46, where some things look too old lady and others look too teenybopper. I tend to go for the more conservative stuff but then I see photos of myself and think geez what was I thinking when I bought that? And better quality stuff is higher priced! I also got rid of my stage clothes…shiny pants, etc. from my singing days only to regret that because they would make great Halloween costumes, but is it worth keeping this stuff for a once a year holiday when I live in a one bedroom apartment?


    • I can relate to all of it. The clothes that fit me best are always the most expensive ones. Since I am not working in the corporate world, I really don’t need those. I need comfortable attractive bum around clothes that are not dowdy looking. Do they make those? I also got rid of some odd stuff that would have made great halloween costumes. Oh well!


      • Yeah, here in Italy it is hard to find funky clothes so I do regret letting go of my “Halloween” pile. It’s much easier in North America to replace that sort of thing. Sadly, here we don’t Salvation Army or Thrift shops and anything ‘used’ here is considered bad form. The only used shops I have seen are vintage Gucci bags and stuff!
        Hmmm, comfy, attractive and not dowdy looking, lol. Have not figured out that one yet but will let ya know if I do. Genoa is weird, very casual or very serious, no middle ground. I teach in corporations and then have groups of kids all in the same day so the wardrobe is always a bit of a dilemma for me.


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