New money making scheme

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My last attempt to make money did not work. I played the mega lottery for three weeks and didn’t win a nickel. Not one to throw more money into a losing proposition, I decided to wait until something came along with better odds.

In Saturday’s paper there was an article:

“Prices high for women’s eggs”

Wow! I never thought of selling my eggs. I remember some friends selling blood and plasma for money but never eggs! I read the article with interest.

“Asian-Americans can command up to $20,000 amid shortage of donors”

Eggs from other ethnic groups do not command the same price because the demand isn’t there. The best price goes to donors who are 100% Chinese, highly intelligent with a degree in math.

There are many reasons for this:

  • Cultural aversion to adoption
  • Using eggs from an oriental woman would allow the child to look more like the parents
  • This is the year of the dragon which is the luckiest year to be born in the zodiac calendar

In many ways, I would make a good candidate. I have an intelligent gene pool and I am good at math. I can do sales deductions in my head on the spot. Beat that Einstein! If there is a 30% off sticker on something that is $19.99, sale price is $13.99. If it’s $29.99, sale price is $20.99. I don’t need a calculator. I am even faster if it’s a shoe sale. I can also maneuver malls which can be very tricky. Never lost my car yet!

These are important life skills that any parent would want in their child.

People always tell me I remind them of someone or I look just like someone else. That would mean that my eggs are more likely to look like the perspective parents.

There are also a couple, more compelling reasons that make me a bad candidate. I am post menopausal so if my eggs aren’t completely dead they certainly are shriveled. Oh yes, I don’t have a drop of oriental blood. I wonder if I can get eye surgery to correct that.

Guess I will continue to wait for a money-making scheme with better odds.

 

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12 thoughts on “New money making scheme”

  1. Maybe I could be deceptive and lie about my age? Who would know the eggs are shriveled until it was too late? On the other hand, there are probably no eggs available there anyway. Sigh. Very funny post Kate! 🙂

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  3. This is priceless! Oh sorry, I am trying to curve the use of my BANG! to only one time, if ever, in a post or comment (love my year-struck). No really, I loved this post. You are quite the clever women; but I have always known this. Hope all is well.

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  4. Very ingenious. I remember when I was in my early 20s, I went to the university to have them do a test on my hearing – and got paid for it. Now that I have tenitis – a constant ringing in my ears – I wonder if it’s genetic or related to that test. Maybe, it’s my head I should have tested?
    Thanks for the warning, BTW, on Leaving Comments. I was unaware of it until my e-mail started getting filled up with comments from bloggers to blogs I’d posted on. Hope they change that. (I took the liberty of copying your warning and will apply it to my own blog.) Thank you.

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  5. I loved this . . .
    Like you, I’m terrific at doing math in my head sans calculator.
    Like you, my eggs are “past their prime.”
    Like you, my eye color and hair color are not in demand by Oriental Egg Seekers.

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  7. I have seen this before!! When I was unemployed I was looking for something/anything to just get some sort of income in my pocket!

    I’m a perfect candidate, until you consider I needed 5 years of braces and 2 oral surgeries to get my now perfect teeth…ohh..and I NEED glasses or contacts at all times due to the fact that my vision is horrific…and certain cancers run in my family…

    Owell…Looks like we get to find something else!

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