The contractor finished a second small project yesterday. He was here three days for what was estimated to be a single day job. There was no scope creep but the usual surprises that come with a home that isn’t new or level.
The last job was in our bedroom. That meant putting plastic down everywhere (except the work area) and cleaning up every day. Every. Single. Day. Contractors “broom clean” the larger debris but I’m not sleeping with sawdust. I have my standards!
That same contractor will replace a window for us before the kitchen work gets done. He calls it a one-day job but we all know how that goes.
I was productive myself, painting yet another room. A big regret is not having the whole house painted BEFORE we moved in. I didn’t realize how pink based the tan color was until it didn’t play nice with my stuff.
Today is saved for a good cleaning and pushing paperwork around. The end of Ida is sweeping through. No storms but heavy rains. Without the wind and flooding, the rain is peaceful. I filled the feeders for the birds so everyone is happy.
I walked with my walking partner this week. That was the first time in months. She is a very young and spry 86. You would peg her at about 65. Taking care of an ailing husband who is dying, is aging her. I don’t think I said more than 50 words in the 45 minutes I walked with her. I have a lot of compassion for her but I know not to take on her burden. She doesn’t want solutions. She’s smart enough to know the right things to do. Sometimes she’s not strong enough to break through roadblocks (created by her cantankerous husband) but she also knows that. I walked away with a sadness that I was able to shake off. We are going to try to walk at least weekly. It will be therapy for her to see and talk to people.
I’m keeping my expectations for today low. Maybe kick back a little or keep the accomplishments to a minimum. I love a good rainy day.
Hope the house renovations are continuing on OK in spite of things going much longer than was anticipated! Also hope you guys are doing all right with the storm! You are so kind to walk and listen with your friend. I’m sure you are doing her a world of good – and good for you for setting boundaries. Hugs!
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One stage of renovations done. New one to start in fall. I’ll probably whine about it here. Having workers in my house every day is stressful but necessary at least until I find a magic wand.
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Whine away! You always make a fun story out of it 🙂 True, necessary evil.
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Keeping your expectations low sounds like a great plan at this time.
I’m glad to hear that you have resumed walking with your friend. My heart goes out to her and all those in her situation.
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It could be us!
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I am sure that walking weekly with your friend is a tremendous gift to her. You have a very healthy outlook on your own emotional boundaries, and sometimes that can be hard for me. But it does allow a person to stay supportive much longer.
I do hope your home projects will wrap up soon! It’s got to be a lot of wear and tear on you. But should be well worth it! 🙂
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I’m not sure home projects ever end but hopefully after the kitchen the big ones will take a break.
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Walking with your friend and just listening is a great gift. She may have family to talk to, but there are sometimes things that need to be said to clear the mind that the family doesn’t need to hear. You are being a good friend and that’s what she needs.
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You are right. She did a good bit of complaining about her husband that she wouldn’t do with her kids. The illness has changed his personality and that makes it hard.
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It is good she is comfortable talking to you. It’s like you are her Stephen Minister.
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🙂
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Bless you for being a listener. Sometimes that’s all that’s needed, especially when the outcome as in this case is determined.
You’re lucky your projects were only delayed by days. I have multiple friends whose projects have been delayed many, many months! Good luck finishing up.
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I am receiving furniture this coming week that I ordered 6 months ago! We have fully postponed some projects. Still can’t complain though. We got some things done.
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Good for you! It sounds like your list is getting smaller. Just in time to sit back and enjoy the refurbished home during the colder months.
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Smaller but some major things are still ahead of us.
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You’re a good friend to her, knowing what she really needs is just to get things off her chest. You don’t like sleeping with sawdust? How strange! 🙂 – Marty
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Actually I had no choice. She is a talker and it didn’t take long before I knew I wasn’t talking much.
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It’s very kind of you to give your walking friend a chance to let it all out. We need some kindness in this old world. I understand how important your kindness will be for her. I learned over the past 15 months to keep my expectations low and then when they exceeded the low I was “jump up and down” happy! I never believe anything a contractor tells me… hahaha! Thankful that Ida behaved in your neighborhood. Rainy again here today. I would be good with that but we have to go pick out stuff for the master bath redo this afternoon.
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Well, I spoke too soon. We had major flooding. In fact, I am “flooded in.” That wonderful stream that I walk is incredibly flooded as are some of the houses that are next to it. We are quite a bit up so we are good but the way out is closed. There are some other more circuitous ways that I don’t know yet. I need to put that on my schedule for next week — learn more roads! Contractors, ack! Even the good ones make me crazy.
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You have a kind heart.
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Thanks!
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It’s nice to hear the rain gently falling and makes you want to roll over or have a nap on the couch. We’ve not had that gentle rain, only torrential rain, the entire Summer, so I miss that.
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It turned torrential last night and our road out of the development is flooded. I took a walk this morning to take pictures. Nature is sure powerful.
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Yes, Mother Nature sure is showing who’s the boss this year. We had several torrential downpours and I remained unscathed, but the damage in parts of the city was terrible. I’ll bet your creek overflowed its banks.
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It overflowed more than it’s banks. It closed the roads and bridges.
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Oh my – the pictures I’ve seen are horrible. I hope everything has receded by now?
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We are back to normal.
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I am glad you able to provide emotional support to your friend.
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It isn’t much but it’s all I can do.
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Good boundaries are hard. I’m glad you can hold space for her.
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Her family helps her but sometimes you need a friend.
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I loved the way you wrote about your walking partner. You may not get a reward for walking with her, but I hope you will have rich rewards elsewhere.
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I truly like her. This could have to any of us. Her husband was always strong willed but he wasn’t as controlling as he is trying to be now. It’s the illness I’m sure. Caretaking is no joke. It’s tough. This is the only thing I can really do for her.
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You are working a miracle every time you walk with her. She is stuck in a hard place right now, and being with you makes it more bearable. I do admire you, Kate.
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Yes but you are the nice one! I’m the curmudgeon!
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Ha! Ha! Actions speak louder than words.
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Sounds like your house to-do-checklist is getting smaller, and that’s always a good thing. It is nice of you to let your friend vent because it’s probably as useful as therapy. Enjoy the rain. Ours is coming in a few hours.
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It’s peaceful although we are predicted to get some torrential showers tonight. Totals are 3 to 4 inches but because we live by mountains they are often wrong about that.
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It seems you have enough going on in your life right now without taking on the burdens of others. Good luck on the continued work. I am impressed you are painting.
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Sometimes I am impressed I am painting too. I want it done sooner so I do it myself as long as I can.
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Being a compassionate listening ear is the best thing one can do for a friend, sometimes. Safely venting to someone can help clarify the issue for one’s self and come closer to finding solutions/making decisions, I have found. You are very wise to just listen, and not take on her burden (I struggle with the last part).
Deb
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I had to bite my tongue a couple of times but I persevered. 🙂
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Enjoy the peaceful raindrops.
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Thanks! And the peaceful house!
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It is raining good here and it does give a peaceful feeling. We could get up to 8 inches they are saying, will see.
So nice that you can be there for your walking friend and just let her talk. So many people just want someone to listen to them, not give answers, not fix things, just to listen. Glad that you don’t get swept into her sadness though and can shake it off. Enjoy a laid backed day!
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They are predicting lots of rain here too but they have been so off with rain forecasts this summer that I’ll believe it when I see it. We planted a new tree in the spring and I’ve had to water it because the torrential downpours we were supposed to get never materialized. Hopefully today we will get some.
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Yes, one never knows anymore!
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I spoke too soon (or Mother Nature heard me whining). We got over 6″ and have extensive flooding in the area. Our main access road is flooded as are the homes that are along the stream. We lost power in the middle of it all for a few hours. Today is bright, sunny and cooler.
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Oh my!! We only ended up with 4 inches! Glad your power wasn’t off too long. Next tims you will have to whisper your whine or just drink some wine. 😉
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Lucky you!
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I miss rainy days. We’ve got some cloud cover, but it’s just not quite the same.
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No it’s not although I enjoy a cloudy day especially when I’m working outside!
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to be there is as good as words… it often helps me more as an advice … ;O)
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Nobody really wants advice!
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It is so hard to resist the urge to take on another’s problems. And in today’s world, we all have plenty for ourselves without borrowing! Good that you are walking with your friend. Good that you are listening more than telling her what to do. 🙂
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There is nothing I can tell her that she doesn’t already know. She’s a wise woman struggling in a situation that never happened to her before. Seeing someone you love decline is never easy.
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