Random 5 for September 8 – Terrifying event, health issues, dementia, gratefulness, LinkedIn

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Our beach vacation with our siblings from 2013 when everyone was healthier.

Serves me right! – After bragging about our drop in robocalls, we got one at 3 a.m. This is a very dark time. We were both jolted out of bed. Surely there was a death. Why else would someone call at that time? No one was on the line. Instead of going back to sleep, I worked on alternative disasters. Someone calling to see if we were home. They were for sure poised on the back porch ready to break in. Maybe a zombie apocalypse! Nothing happened except we both lost a couple hours of sleep. I put a curse on that caller! Look out for people with crotch itch.

It’s been a bad news week — One of our older relatives fell and broke a hip. The complication is dementia and he broke a metal replacement hip. There was surgery to repair but adherence to follow-up gets tricky. Wishing him the best.

More bad news — Someone else is showing signs of dementia. Signs that people who don’t live with him notice. There are family conferences going on. I remember when my mother-in-law started to show signs. The family was all over the place. Some in denial. Some embracing the diagnosis. The patient denied all although it became clear eventually. You can’t hide it.

Weeks like this make me grateful — Grateful for my health, for my family and friends. Any aches or pains (which seem enormous to this hypochondriac because for sure they are fatal) suddenly are minor. At least for now. I’m sure I’ll be rewriting my obit next week.

Remnants from work – While working, I joined LinkedIn. It’s a business networking site. I never was active. Although I’ve been retired eight years and it wouldn’t take much to figure out my age, I keep cropping up in job searches as a viable candidate. Every week I get a notice with the number. Slowly it’s has been diminishing. I still get a laugh out of it although I should get off the site completely.

So how was your week?

85 thoughts on “Random 5 for September 8 – Terrifying event, health issues, dementia, gratefulness, LinkedIn”

  2. We get calls late when the bars close – darn that girl that makes up phone numbers to give out. (We don’t answer any phone late – may glance at the caller ID, but if it’s important, people we know have learned to leave a message.
    Dementia and related variations are concerning. I was glad my mom never realized she was dinging out, she would have been appalled. The small rural town where they retired was so kind to old people. One of my aunts was totally checked out and eventually was placed in a nice nursing home where her husband could visit every day and eat with her. She often mistook me her daughter who lives far away but that was OK. I could play along and it made her happy.
    We all hope for kindness of strangers in the future.
    Linked-in – gads they never quit. Energizer bunny app.

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    • We don’t answer either. We could hear if there was a message being left but there wasn’t. When my MIL was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s the worst was the family. There was a lot of denial. Then there were accusations as to which sibling was contributing most. As it turns out, I, as a daughter in law, spent a whole month living with her while her daughters were too busy to come by. Crisis brings out the best and worst in people. She was moved to a very nice home but just wanted to go home. My heart hurt for her. Not a way to live.

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  3. Hi Kate, I was truly hoping the robocalls saga had ended. Your first paragraph is funny and not. I get it and I am with you. I think I am more equipped to handle zombies. Sorry about the family challenges. “Rewriting” obit?

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    • I have a thing with obituaries. Some people make them solemn and some funny and for sum it’s a sundry list of every accomplishment going back to first grade. I told my husband I wanted him to list every pet that I’ve had as my beloved survivors.

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  5. I’m sorry about your bad-news week. I hope next week will be all good news for you.

    I’m curious about your 3 am phone call. If it was a salesman, he must have got his time zone wrong.

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  6. Your robocall segment had me smiling – there ought to be a law about middle-of-the-night calls as it is insensitive for goodness sake. I have no family but I’d feel the same way about why does someone call an unlisted number. I’d be turning on every light in the house for goodness sake, let the world know I am home in case they think the outside sensor lights are just a ploy. Last Fall I was experiencing problems with my shoulder/upper arm – I suddenly had no range of motion and it it still like that, but doesn’t hurt. I could pick up the blanket to move it off my sore shoulder. I couldn’t fasten my fanny pack. But I saw a neighbor around the corner when the linemen were up on the pole in his yard – he wanted me to meet his wife who was in her 4th year of dementia. She stood there and looked at her feet and alternately cried. I walked away telling myself a stinkin’ sore arm was nothing to this woman who was the same age as me. She has since passed away in April due to not being able to remember to swallow. Hospice had to be called. I count my blessings every day.

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      • I know Kate … very sad and because she was the same as me (we were both 62 at the time, as was her husband). I walked away saying to myself “you’ll deal with this and live with it – this poor woman will never recover” – I am convinced my arm/shoulder is from too many hours at the computer and it is worse since blogging – more hours here and not moving that left arm except my hands being on the keyboard. My boss has a colleague, an attorney friend of his for almost 40 years, and his wife is in her 4th year of dementia. Sam was the first named partner at a law firm and had to resign … his wife kept walking out of the house, getting into the car and driving aimlessly, getting lost. That was her first year. He must be with her 24/7/365 and has refused to put her into a care facility. He and my boss ride their bikes every Thursday morning – he drives about 25 miles and meets him in a big park in Detroit and he pours his heart out to my boss … he can do this because his wife is in a support group. Their two kids are grown and living out of state and have their own careers so they were never expected to come home to help out. This woman no longer participates in conversations, just sits there so Sam told my boss that he may not be even taking her to the support group anymore – she has no reaction to anything she sees/hears and just stares into space. So scary how your life can just turn like that.

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  8. I’m sorry to hear about bad health news for anyone. I also know how awkward it is when someone you know starts to show signs of senior dementia. I have [had] a friend who entered that state early, in her late 50s. She became confused about who I was because my hair was all wrong. She explained to me how my hair was supposed to be– and her description was of the short style I wore 25 years ago when we first met. [My hair is longer now.] I haven’t heard from her in over a year, and I think it’s for the best. Still, it’s sad to me to see her slide away…

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    • My closest encounter was my former MIL and I couldn’t back away. Not only was it scary watching her get deeper in confusion but it was awful watching the family in various states of denial and acceptance try to come together for a solution. After her husband died, they put her in a very nice home where she cried all the time. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t go home. I know how much my home and routine calm me and I’m mostly sane. Can’t imagine it for dementia patients.

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  9. Ugh – a sad week for you. This is not the kind of news we like to hear from family and friends. It certainly frightens me.

    I know what you mean about phone calls in the middle of the night. They are never good news so to discover it is a robocall is even more annoying because of the fright it causes.

    Hope this week is much kinder to you!

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  10. The robocalls are becoming more aggressive and strange. We got one last week (thankfully not in the middle of the night) on our home phone (landline – rarely used) and the robocaller left a message. In Chinese.
    So sorry for the bad news on the dementia level. These days, I think the “D” word is even scarier than the “C” word. I know it is in our household.

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    • It’s hard watching friends and relatives age especially with health issues. We’ve had two older relatives break something within a month or so. The first one is still hospitalized in a rehab unit.

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  14. I hope there is a special hell for people behind robocalls.

    I’m sorry to hear of dementia on the fringes of your family. We are all watching each other fearfully!

    I keep getting notices from LinkedIn, too. I’ve got enough to do without tilting with them, so I’ll keep on deleting the notices.

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  15. I’m always so sorry to hear when a friend or family member shows signs of dementia. It’s so very difficult for the caregivers and all those who love and care for them.

    I’ve never had a robocall in the middle of the night! No phone call in the night is ever a good one! I suppose there’s a little relief in answering the call and then realizing it wasn’t a personal emergency!

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    • We didn’t answer and no one put a message one the machine. It may have been a wrong number too. Landing on a dementia diagnosis is hard. There is no definitive test for it and most time, some of the relatives are in denial. Sometimes all.

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  16. I hate to break it to you but I don’t think anyone can actually unsubscribe to LinkedIn. Once they have you in their clutches, they are a gift that keeps on giving.

    We have a neighbor with dementia. She lives alone for now but we worry about her. Her son and DIL live close, but I don’t see them stepping up to the plate. Fortunately, we neighbors watch out for her, but I know she need more help at some point.

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  17. Maybe Mercury is in retrograde or something. We didn’t have a 3:00am phone call last night, but we did have the strangest assortment of light flickering. One light even turned on that both of swear we never touched the switch. Still, I’m covering my crotch just in case. 😉 – Marty

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  18. Sympathise with the early morning call. We had a few and no-one on the other end, so I did dialled 141 which gives you the number who last called you, then rang them!!! Theyw ere not impressed when i told them someone from their household was running up their phone bill. No more calls.

    We are still recovering from our journey to Cheltenham for my mammogram. Neither of us can remember being this tired. Multi vits are on the menu!

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      • Yes, this is once a year thank goodness, and we made excellent time this time both ways. I don’t think it helped that we had an emergency run Monday evening and didn’t get back until gone 2am, then not sleeping well because we were aware of the following day’s journey. We had plenty of stops and breaks, kept hydrated, ate OK. We don’t like to impose on MSM and staying in a hotel with the dog is pricey. I think it’s was just a combination of things and hopefully all will sort itself out in the next few days.

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  19. There is somebody in my social group… not a close friend… who is sinking into dementia. I try to be friendly with him but he can be nasty… as I went through this with my mother I try to deal with it by being grateful it isn’t happening to me… at least not yet… and attempting to be nicer to him… but it isn’t easy… I’ve told everybody to let me know if they notice signs of my being abnormally crazy… as opposed to my normal craziness!… I do not want to go out that way…

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  20. Odd you mention a robo call. I got a text at 11:57 last night with some cryptic message from and overseas number about the sea with a link. It’s the second time. Creepy. I deleted without opening. So sorry about your family members. Dementia in all its forms is beyond sad and a diagnosis sucks the air right out of the lives of all concerned. We had a pretty good week… joining others here thankful for my health, that things I deal with are manageable. That our family is healthy. Hope you can have a Porch Sunday, thinking it might be getting cool for you. 90 here today and it isn’t even noon. BUT we have some drier air!

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    • It is cooler dipping under 60 overnight but the days are in the 70s. It’s good but I’m a summer lover and I miss the 85 degree days (which we didn’t have this summer either!). There will be porch time for sure!

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  25. We have a beautiful new kitten. She is part maine coon. The seller did not advertise her as maine coon as she wanted her to go to a family not a breeder. We chose her as we wanted a tortoiseshell. We are waiting to see how big she gets. She does seem to have the maine coon temperament and is very laid back. Our other cat is ignoring her unless she comes too close. I hope they will be friends eventually.

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    • I turned the volume down (way down) so hopefully it won’t happen again. Sometimes I wonder if someone gave out a bogus phone number (mine) and someone else was trying to get a hold of someone else. In any case, I’m not answering!

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  27. Midnight calls! The worst. Takes forever to get back to sleep after that spike in adrenaline. We got the midnight robocall soliciting alumni donations the University of Hawaii, my husband’s alma mater. When I explained to the student calling that it was midnight and perhaps one should check the time zone of a non-local area code before calling, the student got all huffy, whereupon I told her that we would never donate to a school who had apparently gone so far down hill in quality as to be unable to teach think critical thinking skills.

    I think we got rid of the landline not long after that.

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  30. I, too, was active on LinkedIn when I was working. And, after all this time, it’s apparently making a resurgence. I did change my occupation to “amateur blogger” and yet I still get emails that people I don’t know are viewing my profile and requests to “add” people I don’t know.

    Thank you for reminding me that, despite the number of health issues I continue to have, I could be far worse off.

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    • I’ve been watching a new show “Chasing the Cure” which isn’t typical for me. I’ve found it interesting because they look for answers for diseases that the patients haven’t been able to be helped with. First I am amazed at how some areas of the country do not have easy access to medical care and how basic any care they can get is. I live between Philadelphia and NYC and locally we have pretty fabulous health care. Every week I am very grateful. When I watch friends getting stricken with critical issues, I wonder how I’ve been so lucky to avoid them.

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  31. Oh No on the call at 3am! The ring of the phone at that hour does totally jolt you and send your heart to racing!

    Sorry about your loved one with the broken hip, and the one showing signs of dementia. That can be so hard!

    We really do have so much to be thankful for and when you hear of people going through those kind of difficulties, it does put our “whines” into perspective!

    Smile and have a relaxing Sunday! 🙂

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