Broad topic. I could write an encyclopedia but I’ll keep it easy. One action — Did you ever notice that when you ask a specific question, people can’t answer it without knowing your whole life story?
I’m on some social media groups including cat groups (surprise, surprise) and a neighborhood group. Both are full of information. Our township posts events on the neighborhood one but it’s also a place to inform or ask questions.
The same is true of the cat forum. Got a sick cat? Or maybe one that is acting a little weird? You can reach out to see if anyone else had the same experience. I find both sites helpful at times and I try to reciprocate if I have information to share.
However, some people are full of judgment or they want to be. If you post that you lost your dog and ask people to keep an eye out for it, you can be sure someone will ask what stupid thing you did that allowed that to happen. Then you will get either reprimanded or a thousand suggestions on how to not do that again. Probably both. You may not get any sightings of your dog.
Someone asked if they needed a permit to build a deck. (Yes, I know, they should have gone directly to the township for that answer.) The short correct answer is that it depends on the size and how far off the ground it is with a suggestion to check with the township. What someone posted was a four-page questionnaire about the purpose and every other thing including if the writer would be included in the first barbecue.
The cat site is more judge-y. “My cat threw up this morning.” Correct answer “Keep an eye on him. Cats often barf for no reason but if he doesn’t continue, eats and poops normally, you are good.” What will follow will be questions on what you fed him (with appropriate judgement on your lousy choices), what size his poops are followed by “take him to the emergency vet NOW.” If you don’t know, emergency pet centers are twice the cost of your normal vet. In my many decades of owning a cat, I only had to go to the emergency vet twice (and I took out a mortgage to cover the cost!). It’s like the ER. You wouldn’t go there unless you had to.
It became so bad on the cat forum that the administrator had to intercede and remove people. Seriously? Kicked off a cat site? The forum is worldwide and people in different countries have different views on pets. Indoors, outdoors, and don’t get into food. People are passionate about cat food – grain free or not, wet or dry, raw or processed. Some places require vaccinations and other places don’t.
Why do people need detailed information to answer a simple question? What happened to Keep It Simple Stupid? Or directly answering the short parameters of the question? Why do people make judgments? Or better yet, why not keep them to themselves?
I was thinking of joining a forum on hair but it’s scary. Shampoo – sulfates or not, processed or natural, gray or no gray. I see big fights brewing! People forget that some things are personal.
Maybe I’ll post that my cat’s tail fell off and see what feedback I get!
The internet, where everyone gets to feel superior, whether righteously or not. 🙂
I like when they ask you for things you mentioned or answer a different question than the one you asked. 😀
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Yes, it’s like they read 3 words of your message and started to reply!
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I know what you mean about the cat forums. However, if you can look past the judgment, they can be a fount of useful information.
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They are and the frequency of inappropriateness isn’t like other forums but I’m always surprised when it happens. No one is more compassionate than an animal person.
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People may be weird in person, but they’re much more so online.
The only online forum I belong to (I guess it’s a forum.) is an extended neighborhood group. They report the occasional coyote or car prowler. My neighborhood is super safe, but I suppose some people like to find something to worry about.
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Your neighborhood group sounds pretty mild. Mostly mine is too. Sometimes I wonder if people reread their message before they hit send.
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Ouch! Being kicked off of a ‘cat site’ does sound bad!
And about the ‘hair forum’. I actually joined one several years back (seriously). From my experience, I highly recommend against it! 🙂
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So there are hair purists too? As a society, when did we get so intolerant? Oops, maybe we always were but with social media with have an easy outlet.
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“Maybe I’ll post that my cat’s tail fell off and see what feedback I get!” Please do that and report back 😅
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They will send out a seek and destroy mission!
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Yeah, I belong to some groups and pretty much stay silent!
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Smart!
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I am really weary of so many opinions on absolutely everything. No one can just listen and take in information, without feeing they have to weigh-in with alternative opinions and yes, judgement. I think you could have some great fun with these forums, though, if you’d like to just make up some outrageous stories and let everyone have a feeding frenzy! Might be worth it. Join under an assumed name, though. LOL!
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It wouldn’t take much to rile the troops! You know what they say about opinions? 🙂 Mostly I don’t want to hear anyone’s.
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People are pretty mean sometimes on my City Crime site. If someone posts a non-crime question or mentions a missing pet, someone always jumps on them with “I thought this was a crime site!” Or if someone’s car gets broken into, they’d better preface that post by saying “yes, I had my porch light on” or “yes, I locked my doors” or they are made to feel like an idiot for daring to bring up their incident. I just looked and we have 8,945 members in our group. Not a single day goes by without administrator intervention for “sparring”.
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We have a little bit of that but mostly it’s directed at people trying to sell stuff on the site. Our site isn’t for crime specifically although people do post about break-ins. People really need to chill.
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We have a guy on our crime site who teaches gun safety in order to get a CPL. Every time there is a break in at a group member’s house, he’ll post his services so you can go get your weapon, then learn how to use it properly to obtain your permit to carry the weapon. I’m kind of surprised the administrators haven’t shut him down yet. It’s interesting to watch the people tear each other down because it is no holds barred – people hide behind their Facebook profiles and would never say those disparaging remarks face-to-face. And then there is the Grammar Police intervening and many people are on their phones and auto-correct kicks in – the Grammar Police have a field day!
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I especially like when the gravitar they use is not a picture of themselves but a flower or their pet. If you are going to post something be proud of it or don’t post.
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Sadly haters are everywhere. Chances are slim they’d ever speak face to face like that but online, they just let ‘er rip. I wonder where civility went. 🙀And then there are those people who use social media to have others do their research for them. Do I look like Home Advisor little Miss Millennial?
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I’ve never had the second one happen to me but then again, I don’t engage much.
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I joined this app called “Next door” that includes just my neighbors. Sounds like a good idea? Turns out my neighbors have way too much time on their hands, for all the reasons you mentioned. Good grief.
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My neighborhood one is Next Door too. There has been some good information about break-ins and road closures but the people part can be a little much!
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Hoo boy. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve quit most social media: you end up seeing the worst in people, not the best. That this is a site devoted to helping people about their pets makes that even more frustrating. – Marty
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Kudos to the administrator for blocking people but it has 5,000 members so it’s a lot of work. She started it to share cute cat pictures, cat trivia and simple questions. For the most part, that is still the main part of it. Every once in a while, someone will post something innocent and it sets off someone. Getting kicked off a cat site is a sad commentary on people.
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I’m laughing at your last thought here, Kate. That about sums it all up doesn’t it? 🙂
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OMG – people do get crazy! I think people use the internet to get their aggression out so that people they deal with in real life can stand them. 🙂
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It’s better than hitting the dog or yelling at the kids. They need some stress relieving activities instead of any of this.
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Agreed!
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Our Nextdoor site can get pretty nasty too. Sometimes I read the comments just for a chuckle. People can be really judgy and holier than thou… it must be boring to be so perfect. Funny also how the comments (usually lower down in the thread) to some innocent post can turn into a political argument. Dear gawd.
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I know! What is wrong with people anyway?
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Judgy and dumb-a not too flattering combination. 😕
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Haha! Great post & comments. Most everything has been said already but I think people ask questions in these forums, some of which are dubious, because it ‘s *easier* than calling the township or a professional or whatever. They want other people to fix things for them and also asking the group might be less daunting than talking to the appropriate parties. As to the incessant fighting… I think being online is the equivalent of being in your car on the road; some people use the anonymity as license to be a jackass.😐 It’s also WAY to easy to jump in and start mouthing off. Where else can people carry on like that with so few repercussions?!
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Yes, people. No wonder I like cats!
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The end of this post is hilariously funny.
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I’m not a frequent flyer on the forum but I do admire and comment on fun cat photos. Some people may know me and not believe it. Although there is a sucker born every minute!
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So many experts out there. I think I’ll stay out of the cat fights!
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🙂 It gets dangerous!
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Note to self … stay away from online forums. Life is too short.
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Or expect to be amused! DO NOT take seriously for sure!
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So funny and so true!
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Unfortunately yes.
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Shampoo is a minefield! Gone are the days of medicated, dry, normal or greasy. Now it;s more like a recipe book or orchard!
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🙂 It is a lot like an orchard or maybe a seasoning patch. As soon as I find one I like, it’s discontinued.
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You too? Bloody annoying isn’t it, and since when does shampoo have a shelf life ????
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Haha. Thrown off a cat forum. That’s hilarious and disturbing all at the same time. What I noticed about our society today is that people think they can be in control of everything. They can control other people’s actions, they can control the weather, they can control petulance and disease if we all just follow their instructions. Sometimes ya just gotta let go, man.
That meme about throwing up on the carpet is hilarious. Same thing with dogs. I’m lucky that if I’m home, Max will tell me he’s got to go outside to throw up. I trained him to do that. If I’m not home, he heads for the carpet.
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My cats say “Good doggie! Well done!” Yes and my husband is on a guitar site and they throw people off for misbehaving too!
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Oooh boy! Ain’t it the truth. I wonder about this stuff too. I think it mainly comes down to people being triggered by something someone else wrote and the impulse to spew off is too easily indulged. At least most of the responses of that ilk that I read tell me more about the responders than the original poster!
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Kind of a “last straw” response because something else bad happened. You may be right. People are crazy!
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Ha Ha – sounds like a real cat fight.
Nextdoor here is pretty much a gossip and fight zone – skipping that.
Right now seems like there’s an abundance of “Goodie Two Shoes” and “Ima Smartie” (along with mobs of halo wearing Virtue Signaling individuals). All invisibles hiding behind screens. Either very bored or very isolated?
I’m with the foxes and coyotes: run away from the piles.
(Oh, guilty about long responses HAHA. So darn hot and very bored., Working on concise and short…..really…someday…)
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Invisibles are always so brave and opinionated. I’d love to see them do a face to face conversation. We are muggy but not hot although it’s still miserable. Sometimes it seems like showers are a waste. Same sweaty mess afterward.
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You are so right. It seems like too many people forget the concept of “groups and forums”. A place to get support, information, encouragement. Not where you pick on people who don’t have the same ideas as you. Yes, everyone has a right to express their opinion, but it doesn’t have to be hurtful, or exaggerated that it’s their way or no way. Things like this could go smoothly, but they don’t. 😊
Hope your cat is feeling better.
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My cats are good but I don’t go to the forum for advice. I have a real vet! I agree with what you say. One of the greatest things about the cat forum is that when your cat passes you get a lot of support. People can be kind. Too bad it takes a death.
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Glad your cats are feeling good. It’s stressful when animals get sick. I think because they can’t tell us what hurts or what they ate, even though I always ask them. 😊 It’s great to hear there’s still kind and supportive people out there.
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There are. It’s just that the negative folks are louder.
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Unfortunately thats true.
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And SHOUTING WITH KINDNESS doesn’t really work.
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Sadly no.
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I always try to remember to stay out of the fray. I have been in cat chats on YouTube and cat forums that get really ugly. Horse forums are rough too. I pretty much stay away from forums because they almost always make my blood pressure go up!
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I scroll by controversies but once in a while… I don’t participate because it’s really a pissing contest. Don’t want to get wet. Animal forums are one notch below political forums for intensity.
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Ditto. Some people have way too much time and too little perspective.
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“Pix”, or you could be like me on Facebook; blocking people as if it’s my job.😁
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The Nextdoor site here is insane. Or rather, the people who have time to post detailed questions and answers on it are. Mostly it revolves around the resurgence of coyotes (the older the poster is, the more likely they are to believe all coyotes should be shot on sight), but there are also posts/ petitions on the horrible house color someone chose or the hate tree a neighbor planted to spite another neighbor.
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We had a go round with foxes this year on Nextdoor but it was mostly good. Someone saw a mangy fox and posted. The site is monitored by local authorities so the fox was trapped, treated and released. There have been positive updates. There were some people who wanted to shoot all the foxes just in case. Foxes are part of nature’s control. They keep the rodent (including squirrels) population down. We have coyotes but I haven’t seen them in a few years. There is a very suspicious big pile of poop in our yard. Hmmm….
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If it’s a very big pile pf poop, I’d go with wayward Labrador.
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Except it was in the fenced part of the yard so it had to be something that can get through rails. Or maybe under. Not an overweight lab (or are they only overweight in my neighborhood?) It does look like dog poop though.
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Hmmm. Under or over. Fey could go over a 6 foot fence easily (but she never did because she was a good girl and se had to protect “her” yard) and I watched a coyote in the neighborhood do the same thing. Woofie could (and did!) wiggle his big body under the garage door when I left it open 5-6 inches for air flow. I still don’t know how.
I think you need some nighttime wildlife cameras to solve this mystery!
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I have a nighttime camera (that’s how we ended up with a fence after I was a deer swimming in my itty bitty pond). Sometimes I am tempted. If there is one more pile…..
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I am truly amazed that people think that a forum is a good place to get answers about pet health (and building codes for that matter.) Really distresses me to see posts about a cat who has been losing weight, for instance, and the writer wants to know from total strangers what’s up. Go to the vet…that’s my answer!! I’ll put my soapbox away now.
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I share the soapbox. There are some of those but most are behavior questions. Inappropriate peeing is a top one and the regulars have good suggestions that include get it checked for a UI first. Oy vay, I won’t go into the intense discussions on litter. Lid or no lid. Scented or unscented. Clay or whatever. My, my. BTW I’ve never seen this on your forum. In total fairness the other one also includes tons of adorable cat pictures and great stories which is why I stay. The building code question stunned me as I wouldn’t take the advice of anyone but the building inspector. I like to see things in writing too. Nothing like having to tear something down because your neighbor told you to do it wrong.
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I agree that folks can get some good advice about litter box issues and such, BUT…(always a but. We were having terrible peeing problems a bit ago – peeing on the kitchen counter- yuck!!!! It turned out, after watching our cats very carefully, that the cat tree next to the stairs going to the second floor was the problem. One cat was guarding it and another couldn’t get upstairs and they were having stand-offs that stressed both. Moving the cat tree about 8 feet to a different corner solved the problem. Those kinds of observations are impossible to go through online. In my experience people don’t want to have to watch/pay attention at that level, and the problem won’t be solved without it often. There…got my soapbox back out again. Sheesh.
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Wow! I’m not sure I would have picked up on that. I know that an aggressive cat can make getting to litter and food dishes tricky but guarding from a cat tower? You are my hero! Yes, yuk to the counter but better than on the bed. That’s loads of laundry. I firmly believe that there is an answer to every cat problem if you work hard enough. You are right about people not being willing to do the observation part.
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I think you better move with your cat to the Isle of Man where he will become valuable and a tourist attraction. Actually some stupid breeders breed tailless cats who suffer all sorts of hip problems. I am always amazed at the sort of questions asked on forums when a couple of minutes googling would supply the answer.
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I use google a lot. The forum is really for specifics or shared experiences but without judgment. There are enough tailless cats on the Isle of Man!
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People need to lighten up! Everyone seems so ready to pounce. Our Nextdoor site, which I find very beneficial has become more Facebook like with neighbors yelling at each other. Sometimes I wish I lived in the Amish country. 🙂
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Sounds like our Nextdoor which is sad. People ask for contractor recommendations and post helpful stuff but someone is always judgey. I love the whiplash person who confronts the judgey person. Sometimes it’s entertaining and sometimes book me for a passage to Amish land.
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This goes to prove my theory that four-legged creatures are the best! 😀
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You won’t get an argument here. At least four-leggers are logical. What they do makes sense.
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I hear you!!!! you wouldn’t believe what answers or comments I caught at facebook… I showed the paw of one of the guys with a hurt nail… answer: you can not walk dogs in this plastic shoes… huh? oh they were accidentally in the picture… and I wore them not the dog.. oh man!
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🙂 Exactly what I mean! Happens on the cat forum ALL THE TIME!
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Ok, in answer to your question: What happened to Keep It Simple Stupid? I humbly suggest that *stupid* is the reason that people can’t keep it simple. I mean if a group of cat lovers get all wordy and judgmental about how other people tend to their cats, then the only explanation I can come up with is that some of those people are, perhaps, not the brightest bulbs in chandelier.
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I might add that it seems to demonstrate that, in many cases, the cats are more mature than their human associates.
Of course, judging others does tend to help prop-up a flawed self esteem. I.e. If I don’t feel to good about myself, then driving you down “levels the playing field”!
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Yes, yes! You’ve said it about the maturity of cats and the insecurity of some judge-y people. Well said.
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Colin, sometimes it seems that everyone is running for title of “Best Pet Owner of the Week!” It helps if I tarnish the competition!
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“not the brightest bulb in the chandelier” There are so many expressions used to describe people whose elevator does not go to the top floor. I could do a post on them (the expressions not the people!).
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Kate, that’d be a great post. Do it, we all could use the laughs.
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It’s on my list!
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I just shared this list on Ally’s blog. Now I’ll share it with you:
“If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
“If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
“If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”
“It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”
“One neuron short of a synapse.”
“Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
“Takes him 2 hours to watch ’60-minutes’.”
“The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
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I love the sperm one! Never heard that one before!
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How does a wheel turn with a dead hamster?
How about “Couldn’t organize a piss-up in a brewery” (English)
“The light is on but nobody is home.”
“Not the sharpest knife in the drawer”
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