Odds and Ends on Observations

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My brother and his wife from this past Christmas

Over the past six weeks or so, I’ve been helping my brother and his wife recover from a bad auto accident. There have been many “aha moments” along the way. Some predictable and some were a surprise.

The more time I spend with my brother, the more I realized we are alike. As I was chauffeuring him around today. He was telling me where to turn even though I’ve lived here for most of my life. I knew where I was going and I knew how to get there. It’s a lot like what I do to the beloved husband. Must be in the genes.

Total recall – I forget stuff all the time. I can walk into another room to retrieve something and forget what it was that I needed. (Yes, I realize a doorway reboots your brain and deletes all your information.) In this situation I have an almost eidetic memory. I can see my brother’s grocery list for a few seconds and each item is etched on my brain. That’s good because I can guarantee you that he will leave his list on the kitchen table. That runs in the family too – forgetting the list, not the eidetic memory. I wish I could nourish this new trait so that it works for my lists.

There is something to comfort food. Carbs are my comfort food. They make me feel loved and safe (as much as any food can). Over the past weeks I have repeated some meals several times because I crave the comfort. (I love you mashed potatoes. Where are you pizza? Please let’s have pasta again!) Or maybe I have an addiction to carbs. (You’ll never hear me say “pass the kale.”) Mocha lattes too. Better than Valium.

If the person is important to you, whatever you do to help out is not work or a bother. It’s a gift to spend more time together. It’s also an opportunity to learn more about yourself. You cherish it because it will end. You hope in a good way.

Happy hump day.

66 thoughts on “Odds and Ends on Observations”

  1. I just used your link to the car accident post – which I had missed during my blog break. To be honest, I am somewhat glad that I already knew your brother and SIL are on the mend. Sorry you all had to go through that. As for the driving thing, my husband does that a lot too. I just say “Thank you” and leave the interpretation to him.

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  2. Door rebooting brain – Note to self: need more doorways HAHA (Actually there is something weird about human brains and doors – research confirms brains read passing through triggers something – but like most research, not sure what or why…hey if it works, why mess with it HAHA)
    Late to the blogging update party, but so glad they are recovering
    Kale. There was that recall recently that it was one of the most “dirty” foods carrying bacteria, dirt, and mandating extreme cleaning/caution. HA! That that kale…pass the pizza

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    • Pizza has never been recalled! 🙂 All that other green stuff has. I’d like to get some research money to do my own investigations! Like the benefits of chocolate when your cats are crazy. Normal things like that.

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  3. Pingback: Why NOT To Be Gluten Free | Spirit Lights The Way

  6. It’s nice that you guys are getting to spend more time together right now, even though it’s not for a happy reason. You are right about it not being work to help out a loved one. Also, right there with you on the comfort carbs!

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  10. Food can be such a comfort . . . and carbs tops the list for me too.
    Being a vegetarian = easy peasy.
    Being gluten free = a constant challenge and a sometimes sacrifice.

    Reading this post makes me want to have grilled cheese sandwich on Toscano Pano for lunch followed up with pizza for dinner.

    Instead of “slim and trim,” maybe I should aim for “fat and sassy”? 😛

    It’s nice that you’ve been able to spend time “bonding” with your big brother!

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  12. yes.. if the person is important it is no effort it is spending time together… I have this total recall problem too… is it possible that one person can have so much senior moments during only one day? or am I a miracle?

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  13. I have been thinking a lot lately about relationships and nurturing them. I have lost several friends in the last 6 months, and that has me really evaluating what matters. And comfort food is important to keeping a good balance in times of stress. I think it’s almost biblical! 🙂

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  14. I see my sister often enough that I’m more aware of our differences. Then, every so often we remember ways in which we’re alike–I guess mainly in the childhood we shared and in some of the things we care about: nature, art, and fashion.

    Sweets are my weakness, especially in the afternoon when I crave cookies, cake, or a slice of pie.

    Since my mom died, I miss being able to do things for her–taking her to the doctor or out for lunch.

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    • I miss my alone time with my mom too. Sometimes it was doctor appointments but sometimes it was fun stuff like shopping or eating out. My brother and I have totally different personalities so it’s always a surprise when I find a behavior trait we both share. It’s usually an annoying one too but not always.

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  15. So many truths in this post! I will never say pass the kale either and I start each day with 2 lattes, Nespresso, made with soy (not mocha however – chocolate is not my thang). And yes, when a person is important to me I will do whatever I can to help and it is never a bother.
    Thanks Kate!

    Deb

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    • We don’t exactly look alike. He looks like my dad and although I favor my dad’s side, people can see my mom in me too. I’m type A (like mom) and he’s type B (like dad) personality with way more patience than I have. We both have a deep love of family and like to be active. This back seat driving thing was new discovery for me! I wonder what else lurks there. Oh yes, he likes mincemeat pies. That was a big hullabaloo one Thanksgiving when he was SUPPOSED to bring pumpkin pies. That was 40 years ago and we still talk about it.

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  17. Strangely enough, your family will be richer for this tragedy in the long run – a chance to regroup and spend valuable time together. My downfall is bread, especially the rustic variety. I have not forgiven my grocery store for deciding to stop carrying Dave’s Killer Bread. I have to traipse around town to get it now. I could live on bread and butter.

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  24. This is evocative for me. When my dad could no longer drive, he too would direct my driving. If any of my siblings had done that, I would have been irked. But not him; I got it. It was one of the few “controls” so speak, that he had left. Good on you for allowing your brother that. – Marty

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  25. I am currently trying to negotiate a working arrangement with my brain. Here’s the problem – sometimes I put things away where they should be, and sometimes I leave them close to where I last used them. My brain seems to always pick the wrong option! If I look where it is supposed to be … it isn’t there. If I look around the area it was last used, it isn’t there. I always find the item, but it is always where I don’t look first, and when I try to second guess … my brain is one step ahead of me. I am working on it, but I think my brain is controlling more than I want to believe.

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