Recalibrating

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I had lunch this week with a “re-calibration” friend. We all have them. A friend that makes us feel normal. Or somewhat normal. Let’s go with mostly normal.

Life gives us a bashing every day and we change along the way. One day it hits me in the face. Things are different. I feel differently. I wonder if I’m OK. It’s odd things too.

I notice that it takes less to make me feel overwhelmed. I keep my schedule simple. I like it that way. Overbooking agitates me.

Something that used to be fun isn’t and I don’t know why. Am I becoming a hermit?

Or energy! Good lord what happened to all that energy I had? I was active from dawn to bedtime. Now I struggle and sometimes sneak a nap.

When some people retire, they look forward to more travel. I am happy with less. A good stay-cation with no chores, walks and lots of margaritas has appeal.

I like my vacations simple and without airplanes. Been there, done that. I traveled when it was still fun.

Night driving doesn’t interest me. Much as I enjoy eating out, you won’t get me to drive an hour for dinner. Throw in some drinks, a long day and I worry about slowing reactions. Takes away the joy.

Lots of odd things like that.

Is it normal aging? Is this what old is? Is it OK or should I be concerned? Maybe a vitamin deficiency? Or a brain tumor? Have I turned into a batty old cat lady? Lots of questions.

When my interest in retail shoe fondling slowed to a crawl I knew I needed a jolt of…re-calibrating.

My friend doesn’t have the same interests but we both had changing attitudes with similar reactions.

We compared notes this week and were on pare with each other. Maybe we’re normal or we’re two weirdos. There is always comfort in numbers.

76 thoughts on “Recalibrating”

  1. I’m 55 and with you 100% ~ my job takes a lot out of me so I tend to sequester away on the weekend to recharge ~ and I often book a work road trip just to get out and away. Hubbs and I were chatting about how often we used to go out – in the past 3 years we put the brakes on that (remodeling and saving $ will do that to you) and — we never really started back up again. Don’t miss it .. now going out is a treat but it’s a late afternoon outing 🙂

    Here’s to good friends you can relax and be yourself with!

    MJ

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  2. Real richness and luxury is being able to do what you want when you want.
    Overbooking and tight scheduling has become annoying – we like to keep really flexible/ open/ impulsive now.
    Simple is good – I don’t know what I do all day long, but I’m really busy and stuff gets accomplished – just probably not people’s ordinary stuff.
    I love the “recalculating” concept – it’s true!

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    • It’s only in the comparison with an overachiever that I wonder if I should be doing more. At the end of my recalibration, I felt affirmed that I’m at the level of activity that’s right for me. The past couple months have been filled with doc apts as I help out my brother and his wife. Being able to be there for them has been very rewarding for me (although I wouldn’t admit it to them because I want brownie points for it! 🙂 ) I pony up when necessary, then retreat to relax by the pond.

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  3. I’m not retired yet, but by the end of the week, (sometimes the end of the each workday), I feel like I have just enough energy to come here to WordPress to catch up. I have been busier at work lately and have been more behind here. I too used to travel and while I had a few more places left on my bucket list, the incidents of travel disasters, in every form of transportation it seems, leaves me less enthusiastic to go anywhere. I haven’t driven at night in years. I live alone and like my solitude – I rarely, if ever, have people stopping by and I’ve not even seen my boss since October 2012. Yup, I’m a real live wire!

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    • 🙂 But you are content with your life and that’s all that counts. When I was younger, my aunt’s (father’s sister) husband died. They had a farm in the country. He was a social butterfly and people were always stopping by even though it was out of the way. She was a pleasant and lovely woman but much more introverted. People did not stop by as much and I often wondered if she liked living alone in the middle of nowhere. Having matured I realize that she did because she had the resources to move back into a town if she wanted to. She loved the peace and solitude and occasionally hired workmen to do what needed to be done. I no longer feel sorry for people because everyone likes different things. Some people need people around and some prefer not.

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  4. I think your “I traveled when it was fun” speaks for me too. It’s not that in the pre-911 world it was a cakewalk because it wasn’t — airlines have been hothouses of incompetence for over 30 years now. But everything about getting from point A to Z by air is now a hassle. I really don’t think this has anything to do with being older, Kate. I hope not at least! – Marty

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    • It does but when you realize that you aren’t doing many concerts or things you really enjoyed you wonder. Am I losing interest in general? Fortunately I’ve been reaffirmed. I’m just normal (whatever that is).

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  7. I lived such an overbooked, high-stress, frenetic life when my husband was alive that I vowed to completely change it once he died. However, due to his death I still had a lot of my plate so I powered through all those duties as well, earning myself a couple of mini-strokes. Now I am like you Kate – I refuse to overbook myself. I like life firmly planted in the slow lane! However, I still enjoy travel – even plane travel – as I didn’t do much more than work, work, work for most of my adult life. I’m still working but I’m scratching that itch for as long as I can. And when I retire, I hope to really get “out there”.
    I’m a big believer in finally doing what you want at this stage of life, no apologies. We’ve earned it! Stay home and enjoy those margaritas! Great post!

    Deb

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    • For much of my working life, I was overbooked and stressed. It took a while after I retired to power down but I’ve done it to such an extent that I surprise myself. I did a lot of traveling when I was younger both inside and outside the country. I don’t mind the occasional beach trip but I don’t have any interest in another museum or tour. Doing what we want at this stage is key to happiness no matter what it is. Hope you can retire soon and see the world.

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  8. I’m with you… planes are no longer on our to do list since 2001 and we like it to be just somewhere doing our thing or doing nothing … my perfect travels are the ones what end in the evening so I can sleep in my own bed and not at norman bates momma LOL

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  9. You sound a lot like me. My kids plan trips, and I go along with them. But I’m always so happy to be home again. I’m content to spend most of my time at home. I figure it doesn’t make sense to push myself too hard these days, but I don’t want to get too sedentary either. I’m like my dad. He always liked to work, and after work, he was content at home. And yet, when my mom talked him into a trip or a party, he always had fun.

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  10. You’ve definitely described me, too, Kate. I am actually enjoying becoming hermit-like. I really do understand what you’re talking about. It’s quite a new position to be in, though, isn’t it, when you think back to just a few years ago and all the rigors of a career. 🙂

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  12. Great post. So many places I have wanted to travel…to see…to experience. Now, yup, that stay-cation is now wonderful! But, wait every day is a vacation when you are retired…right???? I sincerely need a re calibration myself! Hope you enjoy yours.

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  13. When you see people going all sorts of places on TV and social media, it does make you question your life choice of bed at 9 PM. It’s good to have a friend reassure you that you aren’t crazy.

    Also, I think you’ve had plenty of stress recently. Nap without remorse!

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  16. I like your idea of a friend that helps you re-calibrate. I need one of those. I’m like you in that I have no overwhelming desire to travel everywhere and be doing things all the time. However around here I am very much the anomaly on this point. I treasure my quiet life and use what little energy I have to enjoy it. Different strokes…, eh?

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  17. Can I join your circle? I’ve been dealing with the same or similar issues. I don’t mind night driving but have given up the autobahn completely. And the energy thing! I am now at my limit with one, not even full time job. Hard to believe that I used to hold down two or even three at a time. I like the idea of having a friend who helps with recalibration – I go to my sister for this.
    (And as you see, my loyal blogfriend, I am coming back. The writing part is now working again – the next steps are reading and commenting. Since you are the most prolific of the people I read, catching up might take a while . . . )

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  20. You have done recalibrating right. Thanks for sharing it with so many of us who totally agree with you. I’m saying this on the eve of a road trip, but I won’t have to take the wheel. We will wave at you as we go by late tomorrow.

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  23. Well, I don’t know about being a batty old cat lady, but I’m not even at retirement age yet and I’m all in for being a homebody. Maybe it’s just that at a certain point, we’re finally okay with ourselves and our lives. We don’t feel the need to impress anyone, and we honor our own needs a little more, like an occasional nap. We don’t feel the need to push ourselves when all we want to do is put our feet up. We like ourselves and our lives.

    There you go, an optimistic way of looking at it. I thought I’d try that, since I worry about my own body slowing down, too. 😉

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  25. I think you are going to get a lot of “ME TOOs” on this one! I still have a bit of the travel bug, but our proximity to Mexico makes that a much more attractive destination than overseas. Other than that, your aversion to an over-stuffed calendar is just like mine… two commitments in one week? Um, no thanks. Night time driving, especially on the freeway? I’ll do just about anything to avoid it.

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  26. I can’t go from morning (which is early in the pet sitting business) through to night usually without a 20 minute nap somewhere in the afternoon, and travel…no thanks. Been there done that. And if I have more than 5-6 pet visits in a day, I feel busier than I want. Aging…not for sissies, but better than the alternative.

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    • I wish I’d be satisfied with 20 minutes. If I take a nap, I’m out for at least an hour and a half. Fortunately I don’t do it everyday. That’s something that I wonder if it’s normal.

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  28. Count me in with your simpatico others. I travelled a lot at work too, when plane travel was still luxurious. Staying home is preferable now.
    Small things seem to take a huge amount of time. Naps are wonderful. Aging is actually a pretty darned good trip (if we can stay in good health of course).

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    • That’s where we ended at the end of the lunch. Neither of us wanting to be different. Being healthy is always something I strive for. When I die and meet St. Peter he better tell me that I didn’t waste my time on all this exercise and healthy food!

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  30. You just described me… I am serious. I think if you are happy/content with the change all is well. If you feel out of sorts with it than it’s a problem. Everything you mention here is me. I am content here in Florida. Hasn’t been like that for me in 15 years. Content and happy. Not that there isn’t still “stuff”. Now if I could just get rid of the Dr. visits… 🙂 I think you are normal.

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    • That’s the scary part. I think of normal as different from me. That’s part of the issue. Perhaps giving myself permission to own my own feelings is what I need. In any case, lunch with my friend brought me around and made me giggle too.

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      • I am different from the me 5 years ago. Different from the me 15 years ago… 1 year ago. But I am content with that. You think of normal as different from you in a bad way? You do not have to answer. Very interesting, Kate. I was befuddled for so long and now I feel some of the old me coming back… I remember the old me. She was happy, funny, at peace.

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        • It only comes with comparisons. Best not to do that. I enjoyed each stage of life. Sometimes this stage surprises me. It takes very little to make me content. The old me was a type A crazy person. Happy but crazy.

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