Expirations dates — another aging thing…maybe

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There are some interesting things about aging. Expiration dates are one of them. It’s not always a bad thing. We have an expiration date when we die but there are others that aren’t as extreme or final.

My butt has one. I can sit for 60, maybe 90 minutes max. No longer or the butt goes numb. You don’t want me to have a numb butt because it makes me cranky. The good part? I never hang around more than 90 minutes. Most things aren’t interesting after 90 minutes anyway.

My feet had one too and they have expired. I can no longer wear those trendy high heels. Boogers.

My car doesn’t have one. I keep most of my cars for eight to ten years. I am not a car person. All good. I can enjoy someone else’s purchase without having to learn new stuff.

Anyone who has read my blog for a while knows that my appliances have an expiration date. Sadly, they have a very short life. Much shorter than my mother’s appliances. Maybe ten years. Fifteen max. Sometimes replacing an appliance (when they are ugly or inconvenient) is okay. Most times it’s like a new roof. I’d rather spend my money on something fun. And cheaper. Like shoes (that I can’t wear anyway).

I have the attention span of a flea. I’m not interested in gossip because what’s the point? Bad stuff happens to people and it seems wrong to rejoice that it’s not you. Ok, once in a while, there will be a juicy morsel that makes my head spin. But it has to be good. I’ve lived long enough that I don’t get surprised very often.

Patience has an expiration date. Sadly, I didn’t get much to start with and my patience expired in 1980.

My prescriptions have expiration dates. I swear I buy them one day and they expire a week later.  Cold medicines are like that. I don’t get another cold until the old medicine expires. Can time fly that fast? Seems like it was just 2007.

Conversation definitely has an expiration. Have you ever talked to someone for what seemed like hours but was really 15 minutes? Yeah, me too. Do the duck and bob routine. Duck out and go to the potty or bar (whatever is appropriate). Or sneak out the back and run like hell to your car! Works every time.

Do you have any things to add that have expiration dates?

 

71 thoughts on “Expirations dates — another aging thing…maybe”

  2. I seem to notice that I don’t have as lengthy an attention space for conversation with friends. Even those with whom I share a significant and positive experience, I think sometimes the conversations veer to friends with illness or recent losses, and family concerns. It wears on me heavily and shorter times together work better for me. Maybe that’s because my own shelf life is getting shorter and I don’t want to spend it with too much negativity!

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    • That’s a good way of putting it. As I’ve gotten older I have less time for drama. I don’t mind a conversation on something that is perplexing a friend but like you I weary of negativity. The friends with the biggest issues have always been like that and make the worst choices so they will never change.

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  3. In the back of my mind, nothing has an expiration date. I expect my appliances and furniture to last. My mom’s appliances seemed to last forever. Her tables lasted forever because no one put a glass down without a coaster. Nothing of mine has broken down for a long time. If something does break, it will be a surprise. I will not be happy.

    I used to be more patient–or maybe I was just being a good girl and suffering in silence. Now I seem to find more conversations and events boring, and I’m less willing to suffer in silence.

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    • I have learned the beauty of the word “no.” There are some things that sound fun but aren’t…at least for me. I don’t do them, not even to please someone. My mind doesn’t have expiration dates but sadly my meds, appliances, body parts all do.

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  4. I have an expiration date when the rare thing called ‘summer’ rolls around here in Wales, then I expire from the heat. Can’t pin it down to a date though!

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  5. Okay, Kate – you’ve now gotten me into trouble. We have family visiting. They were deep into watching a sports game on television. They insisted that I join them. I grabbed my computer and tried to read your post quietly while pretending that I was watching the game. What was I thinking?! I can never read your blog quietly. I laughed out loud and was totally busted! Great post!

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  7. My butt never gets numb! I could (and will) sit for hours if I don’t remind myself that if I don’t get up and move around some I won’t be able to get out of the chair. As for expiration dates over the counter meds always expire before I need them again. Recently I cleaned a cabinet and found some boxes of potatoes and rice mix and a can of frosting that had expired. I can understand the taters and rice but the frosting was chocolate! Yeah, I let something chocolate expire. I must be losing my mind.

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  8. I had to call the ambulance for my mom yesterday and found out that my subscription to the local ambulance service had expired. Honest, I don’t remember receiving the renewal notice! The whole neighborhood is going to hear me yelling at myself when that bill comes in. How much does an ambulance ride cost now?
    As for appliances, my kitchen refrigerator is from 1965. We gave it a paint job about nine years ago. It still looks and works great. When we purchased the new one that we keep on the back porch a little while back, the salesman told us to expect to replace it again in five years. WHAT!!!

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  11. I think that my ability to be surprised by anything has completely expired. However, along with that, I’d say my patience has increased. Maybe I just don’t care.

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  12. Good question. I’d say for me having parties at the house are over. My patience and interest in doing that have expired. As has my desire to sit in fancy restaurants for hours over long multi-course meals with lots of drinks. Expired. Pretty much any tedious social obligation based on work relationships has expired. Sounding pretty anti-social, aren’t I?

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    • You sound like me. I think you are wonderful! I have hand wash beautiful glasses from my “entertaining” days that I never use. I like durable and easy washing these days. Maybe even disposables. Yes, I know, environment, small footprint, etc.

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  14. After all those posts I had to check my driver’s license…I’m good until next year. Food definitely expires around our house now that the kids are all grown and living on their own. I’m eating “healthy” and my husband still enjoys his sweets so he baked a cake that sat around a bit too long. We call them science experiments.

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    • Your cake reminded me of the hamburger buns I bought a few weeks back. You have to buy an 8 pack and I should have frozen half (but I didn’t). Earlier this week, my husband pulled one out to make a sandwich and asked what the green stuff was. I told him mold and to throw it out. He then removed the last one from the bag and was going to make a sandwich before I intervened. The only thing that doesn’t expire here is toilet paper!

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  15. I’m not proud of this oversight I recently had, but I’ll share it anyway 🙂 In May when our computers were hacked and we had to get new bank cards they asked to see photo ID. Scanning mine while waiting for Mister to get his new card first I realized my drivers license had expired 6 months prior. Oops, got that fixed the same day. 🙂

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  17. My visa to London had expired when I reached the airport last month. I have a weird British overseas passport. The lady checking my passport told me that my visa had expired and my family exhausted looked glumly at me till the lady returned from her checking and told me I did not need a visa and had never needed one! so it was a bit of magic!

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  19. I have to say that my patience expired… died dead… in the eighties, too. I am pretty sure I never was a patient person. I also have the numb butt issue. My interest in dusting, any kind of house cleaning expired in 2005 when we moved to the Tiny Ten. I have never lived in a house this dusty. Nobody told me about the dust in the country. I think country living has expired for me… and then I go outside on these beautiful spring days and and the trees and flowers and all the beautiful green make me wonder.

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      • Agreed. We don’t live in a house all that big but it is a 3 bedroom, 3 bath home with a separate family room, a great room, the four seasons porch, and an odd little room off the kitchen that I call my zen room. We have a finished basement, too. Our bedroom is on the third floor and is a loft set-up. I am weary over cleaning. We have been looking at 55+ homes with two bedrooms, 2 baths, a flex room and the “open concept” deal that everyBODY talks about. I will need an enclosed porch of some kind. I have already gotten rid of so much “stuff” that downsizing will not be an issue. I would like the house to be on a slab. No basement. The two places we are looking we would not need or miss a basement.

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        • We looked at some. Around here they are expensive — as expensive as our single home both in purchase $$ and taxes. I was also hoping to downsize taxes. My husband is a woodworker so we still need a basement (or he does, I don’t). Everything else about the homes are great.

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  23. I won a hairdryer through a schoolgirl’s magazine in 1966. It was pink and shaped like a question mark. My mother still has it, and it works. We purchased a modern one many years ago and it lasted about 2 years. I think I’m on about my fifth now, and that’s mostly used on the dog.
    As for expiry? My driving licence is due for compulsory renewal in September and will set me back about £20 (another con by our government)..It’s not that the licence is due to expire, just the photo of me on it! Seems it only has a ten year life span .

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