Thinking more about end of life situations where you examine your life and regret things you didn’t do, here are somethings that I regret doing.
Exercise – I hate it and resent doing it. If I die anytime soon, I will assume that the exercise was of no use and a waste of time. If I live another 20 years, maybe I’ll rethink that. In either case I will not be happy to realize that I spend a gazillion hours doing something I dislike.
Waiting – Remember when you were a kid (this only works for us older folks) and the phone was a land line tethered to the wall. This was pre-portables and pre-answering machines too. I wasted so much time waiting for someone to call me back about something – homework, timing, events, dates, etc. What a freaking waste of time. No one ever called when they said they would. Sometimes they didn’t call at all. Boogers.
Negative people – There have been a few close friends in my life that were around a lot longer than they should have been. They had a redeeming feature of some sort but at the end of the day, they were negative people. One person comes to mind readily. She was a lot of fun until you realized that her humor came from tearing someone else down. It was funny as long as it wasn’t you but everyone took their turn. As “up front” and “in your face” as she was about another’s idiosyncrasies, she wasn’t capable of being direct and confrontational in a good way. There was never a discussion when she disagreed. She just stopped talking to you for months and you had no clue. The friendship died. I’ve never been sure what happened but that’s not really important.
There are a few things that I have spent tons of time on and will never regret it.
Pets – I will never regret the money, time and energy I have put into my collection of pets over the years (yes that includes litter scooping, hairball cleanup and worry, lots of worry). I would have had multiples earlier in my life. I was 40 when I adopted two for the first time. Multiples work in many ways. The pets have company while I worked and when I was frustrated with one for any reason, the other one was busy being adorable.
Fashion and mostly shoes – I love fashion. I’m grateful I worked at a time when we dressed up for work. It allowed for nice and casual wardrobes. Wearing jeans all the time was never a goal for me (although I do that now). I will never regret all the hours I spent fondling fabric and shoes and trying on prom gowns when I was past the age for proms. Great memories.
Do you have anything to share?
You comment on exercise had me laughing – thank you for that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s true. I have two brothers. One plays golf three times a week and is in other ways very active. The other has always been a couch potato. The potato is 89 and the other is 87. Both alive although the potato can’t get around very well. Maybe it’s more about quality of life than length.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Practically, a life without regrets wont be even a life. regrets are not good but they make you stronger i guess:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: May 2017 Around the Web |
I’m not sure how, but we had the same friend. I don’t regret letting that go, but I do regret believing that somehow my friendship was different.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did that too. I moved away for a while and at a distance I had better clarity.
LikeLike
1 ) Never regretted $$ spent on trips with or to see my Mom ~ now that’s she’s gone I look back and smile at all the memories we made together, often just the 2 of us, chatting like girlfriends. I miss her so much it still pinches. Mother’s Day was lovely because of my boys but still .. wah – I miss my Mom!
2) Regrets — wish I’d done # 1) more than I did.
Oh and animals – any $ spent helping my (or others) animals was always well spent — a friend just had to rehome a dog that didn’t get along with hers (she ended up with this dog after her Dad passed suddenly). She found a good home ~ a few of us chipped in to help with some medical stuff. I don’t have a dog or cat now .. but If I could (time/home more) YES darn right I’d have multiples 🙂
great post, Kate.
-MJ
LikeLiked by 1 person
I too wish I had spent even more time with my Mom. She lived locally so I got to see her weekly. She’s been gone since ’86 and I still miss her.
LikeLike
Waiting for the phone to ring – yes, my biped says she knows where you’re coming from on that one!
Also, she regrets doing things like remaining on a boring date to be polite. What’s the point?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know. We are too nice! (or were….won’t do that anymore but then again, I’m married now)
LikeLike
I resent exercise, too. Such an overrated activity! And I agree about the negative people. I have a similar story to yours in that when it finally dawned on me that someone who I’d known for decades was only capable of mocking people, I gave him the heave-ho. Never to look back or include him again. Such a relief to be free from the poison. How did it take me so long to figure it out?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I felt like that too. I was the butt of her jokes many times before it ended and I don’t know why I didn’t stop earlier. There was a part of her that was fun. She was the type of person you wanted at your party to make it fun and get everyone talking and sometimes she didn’t trash anyone. At the end of the day, it was just too hard.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly. I came to the same conclusion. I was too nice for too long, and when this dawned on me it was over.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Got home late, so finally reading this. Oh my, I will just say, Regrets, oh yes, I have quite a few. But, I finally figured out that ruminating over them will keep me in a place I don’t want to be. So, I have let them go. But, I am still having trouble letting go of chastising myself for working for an SOB for 25 years! One day I will.
LikeLike
That’s a long time. I never stayed with a supervisor I didn’t like (or didn’t like me). That’s one rule I made early and followed. As I said to another commenter, even some of the stuff I regret took me to another opportunity I wouldn’t have had without it.
LikeLike
I always enjoyed the kind of exercise that revolved around playing some kind of sport. I never liked running or individual exercise though in the last 12-15 years I’ve become a big fan of walking. I love early morning walks. It sets up my day and clears my head, though winter months are a problem. I don’t regret being an exercise nut. I think there’s a line people cross and like other things it can become addictive.
I think there was at least one job I stayed at too long and at least one I should have stayed at longer.
I regret 2-3 friends I wish I would have stayed in touch with and like you, a handful of people I should have cut loose much sooner.
I wish I had continued with guitar lessons when I was younger but I was just too restless. Still….
I guess I can go on but in the essence of time..:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a great list. I had one job I stayed too long at too although the job I went to after that (which was fabulous) would not have been available had I left sooner. Also, the friend I let loose was the one who told my (not then) husband I was back in town. Somehow even the don’ts have their positives.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Our president believes exercise will only kill you early. Just the facts, ma’am. Just the facts.
It’s taken me a while to learn this, but I’m only now understanding that those with whom I worked and thought that I liked, were the ones who were always cutting down others. Sad it took me so long to understand that. – Marty
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are in good company. Took me a while too. Can’t say much on the first paragraph. Didn’t think we agreed on anything.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I try not to think of regrets. The ups and downs of my life seemed to bring everything to the same level, making a flat line that many would find boring. I have to celebrate my goofs by writing about them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too. I swear sometimes I do them so I have something to write about.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh I have some regrets. Especially not understanding ADD when my son was younger so I could have been a more patient mom. He still likes me though, so apparently I wasn’t a total witch.
And I don’t regret anything done with pets, either. Until I look back at the stupid things I did!
LikeLiked by 2 people
All those stupid things made you a better person…maybe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe. Then again, maybe not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Please don’t hate me, but I kinda wish that I had done more sports (and yes, exercised more) when I was working. I am now trying to make up for it in retirement!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sports are ok. They are fun. Exercising without competition yuk!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like you I’ve had negative friends that hung around to long. I also don’t regret any money or time spent with animals.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The unconditional love makes up for everything.
LikeLike
Like you I don’t regret any of my kitties, horses, or birds. Such great memories and they all made me a better person, they enriched my life! I loved and respected them all to the very end like you do. A couple of the horses, I found homes for them and they lived out the rest of their days with pasture mates. I am not fond of exercise but if it is disguised as walking that works for me. CH has mowed a trail over about 5 acres and I do that trail until the days get too hot or too cold… then I put on some Smokey Robinson or Joyce Cooling and I dance inside while CH is off doing something else… 😀 I like fashion too and don’t regret the money spent or the fun looking, but it is pretty much limited to a nice bag that lasts me years and to cool shoes. I love shoes and boots. And jeans!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had a horse for a short time. I was already working and it was hard finding the time for him. He used to steal carrots out of my pockets. Missed him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with your thoughts on exercise and waiting for call backs.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank God! No one seemed to agree with me on exercise. Seriously, who likes to do that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
An activity is fine but no machines. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I also have a few regrets, but I try not to think about them too much – unless there is something I can do about it. For instance: I regret not being braver and taking more risks when I was young. Now, being older (and hopefully wiser), I care less about what others think so I am more willing to stretch myself.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I agree with the risks part. I did some crazy things but I should have taken more risks that may have had great results.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I regret not getting into an exercise habit when I was young, I am hopeless now. I will also never regret any money or time spent on helping my pets have a better life.
LikeLiked by 2 people
So true about pets. At the end of his life, Jake was very expensive but he lived a year longer than expected so it was all worth it.
LikeLike
Now I will have to create a journal of regrets. I already have #1.
I regret not trying crazy things…like being a bleached blonde to see if blondes have more fun. I love your list too….and especially the “no regrets” version.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My hair was every color except black. (not the pinks and blues because we didn’t do that back then) I did some crazy stuff and lived to tell. I should have been more adventurous with my career, like moving to NYC or some large urban city.
LikeLike
Like you, I regret none of my pets.
I do regret some of their vets. The ones that didn’t listen to me. Uniformly white and male, always trying to talk me into more expensive diagnostics or treatments.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I had a few of those too. I remember one vet in particular. I took my cat because she started having these little tumors on her skin. Turned out she was infested with ticks. He had a good laugh. That was my introduction to ticks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We seem to think alike. Without the events of the past, good and bad, we would not be the people we are today. If it was a learning experience, it was worthwhile.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Except for exercise. Yuk! Bad!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t hate me…but I completely agree with Nancy! Perhaps it’s because of my health issues, but I’m so thankful I can get up and MOVE! Once upon a time, I spent an entire month in bed, unable to walk.The high I get from working out is better than any pill out there on the market. I could see you enjoying a Salsa class, Kate!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I tried Zumba but the heavy Latin music for an hour was much. Maybe oldies? I enjoyed tennis and racquetball. I just prefer sports or activities than machine exercise. I am grateful that I don’t have any joint or muscle issues and I’m sure it’s because I’m very active.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I feel like cell phones waste a lot of time and I wish I could go off the grid easier. But I didn’t think about waiting around the house waiting for someone to call. But the physical tape answering machines didn’t get the call if someone was on the line -or on the dial up internet.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It was also a tough decision– hang around waiting for a call to do something fun or go off and do something on your own.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, I can imagine now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Today’s kids can’t imagine!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s true! It’s weird to have to think about explaining something like a landline.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Or those curly wires that got all tangled.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha, that’s right!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oops . . . here’s the link:
http://time.com/4776345/exercise-aging-telomeres/?xid=newsletter-brief
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exercise is NEVER a waste of time:
The more exercise people get, the less their cells appear to age. In a new study in Preventive Medicine, people who exercised the most had biological aging markers that appeared nine years younger than those who were sedentary.
You are still here and vibrant because of all the time you “wasted” exercising. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
So boring though. Argh. In contrast the last two days I worked in the yard, harder than my exercise routine and I felt fabulous afterward. I like moving, but purposeful moving. Until it gets stinking hot, I try to get a lot of exercise outside.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love exercising outdoors ~ walking, biking, hiking, swimming, etc.
I almost never work out inside these days . . . unless it’s pouring rain. Then, I put on a CD and dance, dance, dance!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t classify those things as exercise! They are fun stuff. Exercise involves machines. Even a simple walk around the neighborhood is a lesson in horticulture or architecture (along with a lot of judgey statements by me).
LikeLiked by 3 people
Gotcha! I thought you were saying that all forms of exercise were a waste of time and that did not sound like the active, go-muck-out-the-pond Kate that I know. I’m with you on machines in gyms . . . Not a complete waste of time, but not as much fun as moving it outdoors!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mucking out ponds. I’d do that every week….
LikeLike
First, I love Ernestine! I regret not being a little less “stick in the mud” with my kids. There are a lot of things we could have done that would not have cost much money but would have been fun for them. I regret not talking to my grandmother more. I only had one alive when I was growing up and I’m sure there were stories she could have told me. I regret not going to the beach more…we live very close. Other than that, not much. I don’t like exercise either!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My last grandmother died when I was 3 so I’m jealous. Missed that whole relationship although I had a lot of aunts. Beach…never enough beach. Water…soothing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree a lot with you… I never regret what I did for an animal… and what I did to sponsor the posh lifestyle of fashion designers :O)))
LikeLiked by 3 people
I bought them a yacht! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person