Regrets – I have a few

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Ernestine (Lily Tomlin) from Laugh-In

Thinking more about end of life situations where you examine your life and regret things you didn’t do, here are somethings that I regret doing.

Exercise – I hate it and resent doing it. If I die anytime soon, I will assume that the exercise was of no use and a waste of time. If I live another 20 years, maybe I’ll rethink that. In either case I will not be happy to realize that I spend a gazillion hours doing something I dislike.

Waiting – Remember when you were a kid (this only works for us older folks) and the phone was a land line tethered to the wall. This was pre-portables and pre-answering machines too. I wasted so much time waiting for someone to call me back about something – homework, timing, events, dates, etc. What a freaking waste of time. No one ever called when they said they would. Sometimes they didn’t call at all. Boogers.

Negative people – There have been a few close friends in my life that were around a lot longer than they should have been. They had a redeeming feature of some sort but at the end of the day, they were negative people. One person comes to mind readily. She was a lot of fun until you realized that her humor came from tearing someone else down. It was funny as long as it wasn’t you but everyone took their turn. As “up front” and “in your face” as she was about another’s idiosyncrasies, she wasn’t capable of being direct and confrontational in a good way. There was never a discussion when she disagreed. She just stopped talking to you for months and you had no clue. The friendship died. I’ve never been sure what happened but that’s not really important.

There are a few things that I have spent tons of time on and will never regret it.

Pets – I will never regret the money, time and energy I have put into my collection of pets over the years (yes that includes litter scooping, hairball cleanup and worry, lots of worry). I would have had multiples earlier in my life. I was 40 when I adopted two for the first time. Multiples work in many ways. The pets have company while I worked and when I was frustrated with one for any reason, the other one was busy being adorable.

Fashion and mostly shoes – I love fashion. I’m grateful I worked at a time when we dressed up for work. It allowed for nice and casual wardrobes. Wearing jeans all the time was never a goal for me (although I do that now). I will never regret all the hours I spent fondling fabric and shoes and trying on prom gowns when I was past the age for proms. Great memories.

Do you have anything to share?

64 thoughts on “Regrets – I have a few”

    • It’s true. I have two brothers. One plays golf three times a week and is in other ways very active. The other has always been a couch potato. The potato is 89 and the other is 87. Both alive although the potato can’t get around very well. Maybe it’s more about quality of life than length.

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  5. 1 ) Never regretted $$ spent on trips with or to see my Mom ~ now that’s she’s gone I look back and smile at all the memories we made together, often just the 2 of us, chatting like girlfriends. I miss her so much it still pinches. Mother’s Day was lovely because of my boys but still .. wah – I miss my Mom!

    2) Regrets — wish I’d done # 1) more than I did.

    Oh and animals – any $ spent helping my (or others) animals was always well spent — a friend just had to rehome a dog that didn’t get along with hers (she ended up with this dog after her Dad passed suddenly). She found a good home ~ a few of us chipped in to help with some medical stuff. I don’t have a dog or cat now .. but If I could (time/home more) YES darn right I’d have multiples 🙂

    great post, Kate.

    -MJ

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  6. Waiting for the phone to ring – yes, my biped says she knows where you’re coming from on that one!

    Also, she regrets doing things like remaining on a boring date to be polite. What’s the point?

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  7. I resent exercise, too. Such an overrated activity! And I agree about the negative people. I have a similar story to yours in that when it finally dawned on me that someone who I’d known for decades was only capable of mocking people, I gave him the heave-ho. Never to look back or include him again. Such a relief to be free from the poison. How did it take me so long to figure it out?

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    • I felt like that too. I was the butt of her jokes many times before it ended and I don’t know why I didn’t stop earlier. There was a part of her that was fun. She was the type of person you wanted at your party to make it fun and get everyone talking and sometimes she didn’t trash anyone. At the end of the day, it was just too hard.

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  8. Got home late, so finally reading this. Oh my, I will just say, Regrets, oh yes, I have quite a few. But, I finally figured out that ruminating over them will keep me in a place I don’t want to be. So, I have let them go. But, I am still having trouble letting go of chastising myself for working for an SOB for 25 years! One day I will.

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    • That’s a long time. I never stayed with a supervisor I didn’t like (or didn’t like me). That’s one rule I made early and followed. As I said to another commenter, even some of the stuff I regret took me to another opportunity I wouldn’t have had without it.

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  9. I always enjoyed the kind of exercise that revolved around playing some kind of sport. I never liked running or individual exercise though in the last 12-15 years I’ve become a big fan of walking. I love early morning walks. It sets up my day and clears my head, though winter months are a problem. I don’t regret being an exercise nut. I think there’s a line people cross and like other things it can become addictive.
    I think there was at least one job I stayed at too long and at least one I should have stayed at longer.
    I regret 2-3 friends I wish I would have stayed in touch with and like you, a handful of people I should have cut loose much sooner.
    I wish I had continued with guitar lessons when I was younger but I was just too restless. Still….

    I guess I can go on but in the essence of time..:)

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    • That’s a great list. I had one job I stayed too long at too although the job I went to after that (which was fabulous) would not have been available had I left sooner. Also, the friend I let loose was the one who told my (not then) husband I was back in town. Somehow even the don’ts have their positives.

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  10. Our president believes exercise will only kill you early. Just the facts, ma’am. Just the facts.

    It’s taken me a while to learn this, but I’m only now understanding that those with whom I worked and thought that I liked, were the ones who were always cutting down others. Sad it took me so long to understand that. – Marty

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  11. I try not to think of regrets. The ups and downs of my life seemed to bring everything to the same level, making a flat line that many would find boring. I have to celebrate my goofs by writing about them.

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  12. Oh I have some regrets. Especially not understanding ADD when my son was younger so I could have been a more patient mom. He still likes me though, so apparently I wasn’t a total witch.

    And I don’t regret anything done with pets, either. Until I look back at the stupid things I did!

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  13. Please don’t hate me, but I kinda wish that I had done more sports (and yes, exercised more) when I was working. I am now trying to make up for it in retirement!

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  15. Like you I don’t regret any of my kitties, horses, or birds. Such great memories and they all made me a better person, they enriched my life! I loved and respected them all to the very end like you do. A couple of the horses, I found homes for them and they lived out the rest of their days with pasture mates. I am not fond of exercise but if it is disguised as walking that works for me. CH has mowed a trail over about 5 acres and I do that trail until the days get too hot or too cold… then I put on some Smokey Robinson or Joyce Cooling and I dance inside while CH is off doing something else… 😀 I like fashion too and don’t regret the money spent or the fun looking, but it is pretty much limited to a nice bag that lasts me years and to cool shoes. I love shoes and boots. And jeans!

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  17. I also have a few regrets, but I try not to think about them too much – unless there is something I can do about it. For instance: I regret not being braver and taking more risks when I was young. Now, being older (and hopefully wiser), I care less about what others think so I am more willing to stretch myself.

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  18. I regret not getting into an exercise habit when I was young, I am hopeless now. I will also never regret any money or time spent on helping my pets have a better life.

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  19. Now I will have to create a journal of regrets. I already have #1.
    I regret not trying crazy things…like being a bleached blonde to see if blondes have more fun. I love your list too….and especially the “no regrets” version.

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    • My hair was every color except black. (not the pinks and blues because we didn’t do that back then) I did some crazy stuff and lived to tell. I should have been more adventurous with my career, like moving to NYC or some large urban city.

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    • I had a few of those too. I remember one vet in particular. I took my cat because she started having these little tumors on her skin. Turned out she was infested with ticks. He had a good laugh. That was my introduction to ticks.

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  22. Don’t hate me…but I completely agree with Nancy! Perhaps it’s because of my health issues, but I’m so thankful I can get up and MOVE! Once upon a time, I spent an entire month in bed, unable to walk.The high I get from working out is better than any pill out there on the market. I could see you enjoying a Salsa class, Kate!

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    • I tried Zumba but the heavy Latin music for an hour was much. Maybe oldies? I enjoyed tennis and racquetball. I just prefer sports or activities than machine exercise. I am grateful that I don’t have any joint or muscle issues and I’m sure it’s because I’m very active.

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  23. I feel like cell phones waste a lot of time and I wish I could go off the grid easier. But I didn’t think about waiting around the house waiting for someone to call. But the physical tape answering machines didn’t get the call if someone was on the line -or on the dial up internet.

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  25. Exercise is NEVER a waste of time:

    The more exercise people get, the less their cells appear to age. In a new study in Preventive Medicine, people who exercised the most had biological aging markers that appeared nine years younger than those who were sedentary.

    You are still here and vibrant because of all the time you “wasted” exercising. 😀

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    • So boring though. Argh. In contrast the last two days I worked in the yard, harder than my exercise routine and I felt fabulous afterward. I like moving, but purposeful moving. Until it gets stinking hot, I try to get a lot of exercise outside.

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  26. First, I love Ernestine! I regret not being a little less “stick in the mud” with my kids. There are a lot of things we could have done that would not have cost much money but would have been fun for them. I regret not talking to my grandmother more. I only had one alive when I was growing up and I’m sure there were stories she could have told me. I regret not going to the beach more…we live very close. Other than that, not much. I don’t like exercise either!

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