Girlfriends!

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Here is an old picture of friends Mollie and Hazel.

I have an old friend who I periodically meet for lunch. This week I reached out to schedule. I thought of why lunch with her is so effortless.

She meets me after her Pilate’s class. I don’t have to dress up. She doesn’t have to shower. No makeup either. Perhaps I’ll comb my hair, perhaps I’ll go au naturel! (I try to remember deodorant!)

We always meet at the same place. No thinking involved. It’s a pizza place which is my favorite food. We don’t look for exotic places because it’s not about the food.

It’s an hour. We don’t linger. We have things to do and errands to run. It’s a quick but satisfying connect.

We are retired. There is no work talk. We can’t remember work. It’s all about our daily lives.

There is a genuine interest in what we are doing. Did you ever ask someone how they are and then didn’t care enough to listen? (Not that I would EVER do that!)

It is convenient. Neither one of us gets hurt if there is a cancellation. No hidden agendas. “It won’t work today” is enough to reschedule. No one is required to have a doctor’s excuse.

There is a history with a long tail going back decades. We’ve watched each other evolve. There was growth, setbacks and more growth. Reincarnations. Changes in direction. Rabbit holes that needed exploring. Yet we always came back.

We share tactics on aging and avoiding social engagements we don’t want to do. She taught me about the 90 minute rule. You can do anything for 90 minutes (although for her it’s 60 minutes…I may get there soon) and then skedaddle without guilt. For things you really don’t want to do the answer is “no.”

Our hair got shorter over the years and the business suits were replaced by a wardrobe of jeans. Her hair is silvery and mine calls Clairol a dear friend.

We developed laugh lines at just the right spots and get those nasty (old people) growths removed. We are the new 40!

We are amazed that life has been so good to us and lament on testy technology which is confounding to anyone born before 1990. So many similarities and so many differences.

Everyone needs a friend like this in their life. Effortless and reaffirming.

 

 

 

 

48 thoughts on “Girlfriends!”

  4. I have a friend I meet on the elliptical at the gym 2-3 times a week. We’ve been friends for years, and she moved away and now she’s back. Like she was never gone.

    Pina would be more fun, but we always keep it strictly at the gym.

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  6. this is so sweet and beautiful. i hope i have a girlfriend like that when i am older. i can definitely see differences in people now in making plans and keeping them and what i feel when i go to meet them. sometimes its easier and sometimes its not.

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  8. I think the best of friends are those with whom you can talk about anything. With family I’m constantly on guard, but with friends I don’t have to worry about that. It sounds like you have the same dynamic with this person. That’s nice. – Marty

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  10. I have a friend from high school like that as well and now that she has moved 4 hours away I really miss our monthly lunches. We still try to meet up but it is not quite as effortless as it used to be. I always feel regenerated after having spent some time with her! Your post was excellent!

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  11. I am lucky to have several friends like this… uncomplicated and low-maintenance. One, who unfortunately lives on the other side of the country, will be visiting this weekend. We’ll meet for our traditional bay walk together (which is just an excuse to yak and catch up, while we pretend to exercise). Your friend sounds like a gem.

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  15. Sweet post. So wonderful to have a friend like that. I have a gal pal from grade school. We can’t meet for lunch on the spur of the moment because of distance, but we keep in touch. She is my rock! We stayed together all through grade school, high school, shared an apartment in college, and stayed connected as we both moved all over due to spouse’s transfers. I enjoyed reading about the special thoughts and things you share with your friend… now I am going to send a little “hello” to ML this morning!

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  16. Like Jill mentioned above, I’d love to have a low maintenance friend. Most of my friends require a planning-for-lunch protocol that would rival the Normandy Invasion. I’m so mellow, they’re so not. *sigh*

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  17. Sounds like you’re two peas in a pod…a mod pod in our (oops, your) own way. (No intended outing here.) A very special post about old friends…or should I say long time friends…who may by numbers sound old! My mantra is: “If you play your cards right, it takes a long time to be old.”

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  18. I have such a friend and I feel blessed and I’m grateful that we are real friends. We understand each other without words and we are one even when we think different about a topic. And we are honest ….even when I was a little sad as she called my brand-new brown jacket the skin of a dead moose 😂😂😂

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  22. This is a brilliant post, Kate. You have succinctly captured the beauty of true, uncomplicated friendship. I am also blessed to have a friend like that. I am very grateful.

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  23. You are blessed to have a friend like that. No pressure, just yourselves connecting. If only there were more people like that in this world. I loved your description of getting ready to meet her. It gave me a nice smile this morning.

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