History repeats itself – Yesterday I heard Gloria Steinem’s speech and it was awesome. I was around in the 60s when we protested for all sorts of equality. Here we are 50 years later still protesting. Kudos to my friends who walked in Washington and everywhere else!
The week that was – I thought it would end with the election but it didn’t. It didn’t end with the inauguration. It may not end. This may be the new normal. I stay out of political arguments that go nowhere. Stuff I heard this week was jaw dropping. Everyone has a right to their own feelings. I’ll leave it at that.
Post birthday – Another one bit the dirt. It was delightful and well celebrated. Here is a question for you all. When you get a gift, do you treat it as a nice gesture or do you think it comes with reciprocation protocol? I try to avoid annual gift exchanges even with people I really like. I prefer getting together for lunch to getting stuff. Some people enjoy shopping for the right gift for others. I’m just wondering if I’m unusual.
WordPress is at it again – I got behind on reading other blog posts. (I will blame new cat!) The WP Reader only goes back so far. Some posts were no longer showing up. We’re not talking weeks here, we’re talking maybe 24 hours or so. I don’t know what the limit is and I couldn’t find it anywhere in WordPress help. Reader is an easy way to catch up with blogs you follow.
Speaking of new cat – Gracie is delightful. Everything is going well and she is incorporated into the feline-human group here. She’s friendly and has her own opinions. (She was highly supportive of the pussy hats.) Morgan is mourning not being newest cat anymore. Thank you for all your support and suggestions.
So how was your week?
Twilight zone: so many of the Mary Richards scripts ?Mary Tyler Moore seem as fresh and valid to today as when new.
Inch by inch, but geesh. So much deja vu
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Loved Mary. I was a working girl (not THAT kind) at the time and could relate to a lot of it.
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I was at the March last weekend in Philadelphia. The way things are going it looks like “activist” will be added to my resume.
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For many of us. Even those of us who did it the first time around 50 years ago.
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My daughter-in-law traveled from California to Washington D.C. to march, even though we had huge protests all over our state. I was so proud of her. I find all of “this” utterly jaw dropping. i won’t use your space to start one of my rants. LOL! I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I’m very inconsistent in the gift giving protocols. I try to limit it, but I often give in to some kind of perceived pressure. Often it becomes lunch AND a gift.
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My jaw drops every day. I am so proud of your DIL too. My step-daughter marched in Denver. She made the hats for her group. As for gifts, gah!
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I was hoping it would end with the election and then with the inauguration also. But it hasn’t and it won’t. Here we go, though I don’t know where.
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This is a new day for sure.
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Lots to unpack here.
Gloria Steinem rocks. But you are right about the depressing prospect of arguing the same points for a half century. Thanks for the kudos. I assume they are also for my solitary walk down my road with an anti-Trump sign. 🙂
I’m for going back to politics that are constructive and fact-based rather than emotional.
Happy Birthday! – a little late.
As for presents – acquaintances get something attractive or tasty. Friends get time
I haven’t had that experience with WordPress – but I have gotten quite far behind in reading. It helps to simply “visit”the individual websites.
I knew Gracie would do well. She couldn’t have found a better place.
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Loved your solitary walk! You are never alone. Thanks for unpacking your thoughts!
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Abnormal is now the new normal. Up is now down….
I prefer spending time with friends rather than exchanging gifts. Lunch is always good. I only exchange little gifts with one friend who I don’t see on a regular basis. We enjoy finding “stocking stuffers” to give each other for Christmas or birthdays. Other than that I don’t buy presents or want any. But happy belated birthday!
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Thanks!
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Kate – have you ever explored the “5 love languages”. there are 5 ways to express love – words, touch, time, acts of service, and gifts. Everyone has a different hierarchy. I have a friend who has gifts as #1, and so yes, I try to remember to buy her little things… because I know its her way of knowing I appreciate her. And she will give me a hug sometimes even though she is not a hugger (touch is her #5!), because she knows that touch is one of my top ones. My husband ever gives me gifts, but does many acts of service. That’s his way of telling me he loves me. You might want to share the love languages with your friend and figure each other out. For me it goes both ways – trying to use their language sometimes and them recognizing yours is telling them you appreciate them. FYI – touch and time are my top 2… so going out to lunch/dinner with friends is definitely my way of showing I love/appreciation them!
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Interesting concept. My problem is that I never know what to buy people that doesn’t end up in trash or donated piles. Perhaps I should seek out friends in the other 4 categories! 🙂
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or get them to understand your language! So speaks a (another) horrible gift buyer.
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I don’t do gift giving anymore. I prefer lunch out or meeting for a glass of wine. I don’t talk politics with anyone except CH and even that can get dicey. I am so saddened about our political climate right now… it has even managed to bother my stomach. I will have to find a way to let it go. I am so HAPPY for Gracie!
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Yes it kicked up my IBS for sure and I’ve started getting heartburn. I’m ok at letting it go but then someone says something really mean (and I mean really mean) and it’s off to the races. Gracie….what a blessing. This morning she and Morgan were racing around the house at 6 a.m. Mollie was fast asleep on the bed and Hazel asleep on the lounge. We all opened one eye and then rolled over.
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Regarding gifts, I reciprocate to those who give me for my birthday. I spend more on milestone birthdays and put in the same amount of thought for friends who I can see put time and effort into mine. When someone gives an obviously recycled gift I can see no thought was put into, I admit I put less effort into their next one (not the nicest thing to admit I know).
I prefer not to exchange Christmas gifts with everyone – just close family and friends.
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When I was younger, I did the same. As I aged and especially after retirement, gifts were much less important. The last place I worked was big on gift giving. I used to buy more gifts for co-workers than for family. I don’t miss that.
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I’ve found actually discussing it with colleagues helps. A work friend asked if I wanted to continue with Christmas gifts one year and I could honestly tell her I was happy to do away with it. She wasn’t offended and glad she asked.
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That works with friends but it didn’t in the massive gift giving at this place. I had never worked anywhere like it. You gifted up the ladder and down the ladder. My 2 close friends and I donated to another employee who was having a hard time instead of exchanging but that was a drop in the bucket. One year a department collected and donated to a needy family through a charity but those were rare. Prior to this I had worked in a very large company that had outright banned gifting.
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I worked in government and gifts are officially banned as they could be considered bribes. It was not enforced at lower levels. If you didn’t want to gift, however, you could always say it is illegal. We did have charity giving as an alternative. Much better. I bought a gift for a needy child this year who only wanted jeans. Sort of puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?
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It was banned at my first company so you can imagine my shock at the number of gifts expected! I have always preferred to give to a charity. Most adults I know don’t need anything. For the kids we always do gifts. Our local mall has a tree where you can pick a card with a age and gift suggestion. Reading what people were asking for was really sad. They were very simple things.
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I give the grandkids gift cards. Not as much fun to open, but they have too much anyhow.
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You are so right about politics. I put up with it all through the election trying to be open-minded. People say such hateful things. I finally got fed up and unfriended a bunch of people on Facebook.
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You are so right about the hateful language. You can disagree without vulgarity or calling someone stupid. Manners are off the table!
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I didn’t march, but I went on line and donated to my local NPR radio station. The media is going to need all the help it can get for the next four years!
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Journalism will be a challenge. The powerful have the power to squelch.
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Her message was one of inclusiveness not theology. From my Catholic background I remember the Christian crusades to kill barbarians (mostly Muslims but any non-believer) and bring unity (and land) under the Pope. I live in an area with a lot of immigrants. Most are from Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic and Syria. I am far more worried about home grown terrorists who cruise the internet for any cause as an excuse to kill.
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I’ve never been part of a huge march like that, except for one time in a Prevent Blindness walk because I worked for the ophthalmologists who were orchestrating it. It was a short walk and ended at a Giants baseball game. I do salute all those who marched. I’m afraid it’s going to be a VERY long 4 years (unless a miracle happens, which I pray for daily). I haven’t noticed any WordPress issues but that’s because I use Blogger and IFTTT to post onto WordPress. I use my email to get notices of the people I follow and then delete when I’m done reading. So happy for Gracie!
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WordPress is a great blogging platform but the constant changes are nerve wracking. There are no notices that change is coming. Very seldom there is one after the fact (after I spent time figuring it out). They take away stuff I like and change other things. I think most of the changes are to make it easier for mobile devices. I use a desk top for blogging so the changes rarely benefit me. Ah, Gracie 🙂
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I keep forgetting to use Reader since I get my blog post alerts via my email (which makes my email inbox completely insane looking each morning). The Reader is a good way to find blogs with certain topics/themes, though.
I prefer one-on-one get-togethers also. In fact, I think I’ve successfully trained all my friends to save their money by not buying me gifts. I will be taken out to a birthday dinner this Tuesday by my good friend, and in March, I’ll do the same for her (it’s really just an excuse to have dinner together someplace we like that our husbands don’t so much).
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I usually delete my email (I can always check my deleted files if I need to) and use the reader. I know I missed some. They weren’t on the reader any more and lost way down in the deleted files. Argh! I love one-on-one get-togethers. This Tuesday my friends from where I worked are taking me out to a bd dinner. Woohoo! We have dinner each month (there are either 4 or 5 of us depending). If it’s someone’s birthday we buy for them. It’s been working well for a couple of years.
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I think Gloria Steinem became well known for her feminism not long before we moved to the Philippines. There, I lived with a bunch of expatriate women who didn’t have access to work permits. We went to parties where women were served their appetizers in one room, men in another. I knew about her, but only at a distance. It’s different.
I like this discussion about gifts. I have a friend who gives lots of gifts–lots of silly little gifts that I often throw away or put in a cupboard and never use. It makes me feel obligated to respond, and sometimes I do … reluctantly. I read several comments above that inspire me to do what I think is right. And yes, invite me to lunch or coffee.
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We have to get passed that feeling of guilt!
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I’m so glad you mentioned the WordPress Reader, Kate. I thought I might be the only person who is unhappy with it. It’s unforgiving! God Forbid you close out of your browser because you get a phone call, your spouse calls you for something, you go mix a cocktail… whatever. You cannot go back to where you were before, and you miss posts from blogs you follow. It’s aggravating. – Marty
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At least it’s not just me!
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yes I have had problems with reader too. I stopped the emails because it took so long to get through them. but if Reader closes down on me I try to work out which blogs I still want to read – very time consuming ! I have not found any solution. As you say, WP keeps changing, and Help desk does not answer questions about this.
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Glad to see some solidarity. I think perhaps the most frustrating thing about it is that previous iteration of Reader actually worked great. Cest la Vie.
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I know! I miss a lot of things — word count (so you could tell if it’s a long post or a short one), stats at the top menu, etc. You could reply to a comment (that doesn’t always work now) without going back to the post too. Seems when I like something it goes away. I still compose in the “old” new post format. One day they will take that away too.
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I compose using the old format too because it handles pics better, plus the new format can actually freeze on you. I agree it’s days are numbered though.
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Oh crap! 😦
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Yes it did !
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Some people have a special email address for their blog. For me that’s too much work and I agree, getting dozens of notices everyday can get tedious. I delete but if something goes wrong I will go back to try to find what I missed.
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I have a special email address for my blog but I still stopped email notifications of posts as it was like reading them all twice over.
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We all have what we need, why exchange gifts. I’m happy Gracie is settling in and bringing more happiness to your home, Kate. We’re under a severe weather threat…hunkering down.
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Won’t get your weather until tomorrow. Nor’easter they say. Gracie makes big strides every day. Today she started jumping up to the top of the chest where I keep the cat food so I can dismantle her special eating spot tomorrow. Yay!
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Gloria is amazing! We are all amazing!
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Gloria is 82 and she still has it!
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I have strictly avoided any political discussions. Instead of responding to anything on Facebook I have stilled my fingers and I say a prayer for the person posting their opinion, whether I agree or not.
I, too, prefer lunch with friends to any kind of gift. I’m trying so hard not to increase my “stuff” because when I die my kids will have enough to sift thru.
Cuddle all your cats (if you can) for me.
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Cuddles done! (they are never rationed in this house!)
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My week was good Kate, but next week will be better as it sees the end of my radiotherapy! Yay!! I will also be able to get back into the Slimming World plan, hopefully achieve my target by the end of February and then knock ’em all dead at the wedding in July! Well, maybe not, it’s the bride’s day, but you get my gist.
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There is nothing wrong with looking fabulous at someone else’s wedding. Unless you wear a big white gown, the bride will be the center of attention.
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🙂
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My week was fine thank you. My eMail inbox drives my WP involvement (don’t like Reader) and as for gifts? I will never automatically reciprocate gift giving because it rather taints the intent of the original gift. Conversely, I do not expect a gift just because…..! Not everybody shares that perspective, but that’s okay as my opinion of me is much more important than “their” opinion of me! 🙂
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Email is my backup but Reader is faster. I like your self confidence. I try to do that myself but am not always successful.
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Keep working at it, and perhaps try this perspective:
You are the only guarantee in your life. You cannot leave you, so it is a good idea to really like yourself and, after all, you have no choice but to spend the rest of your life with you!
The next step is to realize that you must protect what is important to you and, if others don’t appreciate it, then that is for them to deal with because your happiness must be more important than their approval. They may leave you tomorrow, but you will always have you!
Believe that those people who do not like you are losing out… because you are a really nice person. They just have to allow sufficient time to realize that! 🙂
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Gosh, I was just worried something would think I was cheap! I’m past the stage where I care what people think. I’m retired from that too! 🙂
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🙂
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I’m with you on gift giving, Kate.
It’s fun to get (or give) just the right gift . . . BUT when it’s “not quite right” it’s disappointing. So I try to avoid getting into a tit for a tat gift exchanges which seem to come with strings attached.
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Sometimes it’s hard to get out of them even when you say it out loud.
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The Women’s March in DC was incredible. There were over a million of us — we broke the Metro & the Mall. I’ve been here for 4th of July, other inaugurations, other protests. This was wall-to-wall pink.
Also very well-behaved. Everyone was nice except for the guy in the pickup truck who called us “whores” as we walked home.
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Clearly he doesn’t know what the word means. Did he have teeth? Also, so proud of you!
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They were 20-something white guys, so yeah. But all the other cars honked and cheered us and let us cross the street. 🙂
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What a jerk. I’ve been waiting for the President to say all the marchers were lesbians or ugly. How sad is that?! I’ve started to predict his way of thinking.
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It’s going to be a wild four years….maybe two if there are some defeats in the 2018 congressional elections.
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LOL, I guess it’s not hard. Think of an ill-mannered five-year-old boy, right?
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Happy Sunday, Kate
I avoid the exchanges, too – at least, i avoid the obligation to exchange gifts, even cards. That doesn’t mean I don’t give gifts, I just do it when resources (mood and finances) allow, usually spontaneously – that is, no particular date or occasion, other than, Hey, I thought you might like this, so I got it for you.”
That said, I am aware of the compulsion to reciprocate – I suppose old habits die hard.
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There is that old guilt. My mom would be so proud.
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The #WomensMarch has restored my faith in people. It was amazing to watch and contemplate. I feel much less alone now, living as I do here in the middle of Pro-Trump-land. I had trouble with WP this week. It messed up my posts when I hit publish and didn’t send my feed link to all the places it should go. WP can be so frustrating sometimes.
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I teared up as I watched the marches. I marched in the 60s. Do we have to do again? Really? WordPress! I swear if I like something they take it away or change it. If I don’t like it, it stays forever. It’s free and easy to use but I wish those adolescents tinkering with it would take a step back sometimes. More beta testing with non-techies.
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Amen sistah! To all that you said. 🙂
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