Words are very powerful especially those from someone you care about.
Depending on which report you read, women speak 20,000 words a day while men speak 7,000.
I believe that to be true except in our house. The beloved husband rarely hits 7,000 words in a day. Maybe a week or a month but not a day.
Not unless there is a discussion on taxes, then all hell breaks loose.
This isn’t the topic for today though. This week the beloved husband uttered one word that changed everything. (No, it wasn’t divorce!)
My hair is this length (except my bangs are shorter after the hissy fit.) I’d look just like this if I was…ummm….younger and had fuller lips and blue eyes. Maybe.
Over the past year I have been changing my hair style. I’ve been growing it out ever so slowly (mostly because I’m old and my hair grows slowly). I no longer look like my picture Gravatar.
It’s been an occasionally painful year. You know what it’s like to grow out hair from one style to another when you’re young. When you are old it’s worse except most of the time you don’t care.
In order to grow hair you have to not cut it. Yeah, yeah, I know stylists say you should come every month anyway but they cut off what grew. What’s the point?
I’ve been stretching out haircuts to 10 weeks. Mostly it works. My hair is somewhat wavy. If the wave is going in the wrong direction this week, by next week it will reverse course and all will be well.
I’m at 10 weeks and my hair is longer than it’s been in a while. I’ve been blowing it out straight like the current styles and mostly feeling good about it. Mostly.
(That doesn’t include my hissy fit last week when I hacked off my “growing out” bangs. Hissy fits in hot humid weather are the worst. I am lucky I didn’t shave my head.)
There are a lot of words I would use to describe my hair. Words like healthy (from not so much processing), flowing, natural looking, trendy, stylish. Lots of nice words.
So which word does my husband use?
Straight! As in “why is your hair so straight?” (Perhaps he was trying to hit his quota?)
Definitely time for a trim. Not much, just a little trim to bounce it up.
And that is the power of a word.
Views and Mews by Coffee Kat 
“Hissy fits in hot humid weather are the worst.” AGREED.
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I feel your pain Kate! I had the scissors in my hand last week to rid myself of these bangs that I’ve been trying so hard to let grow. You are not alone and the struggle is real.
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With my new haircut, the bangs look ok. Now I am vacillating on whether to let them grow or not. As the kids say….whatever!
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Bwahahahaha! Sounds like Bill! His last comment about my hair was, “Darkened huh?”
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Men of few words.
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Oh, that’s not a criticism. Compared with what slips out of somebody’s mouth over here, it’s a compliment. The latest: “you oughta quit dyeing your hair. I think it’s making it thinner.”
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Perhaps he was trying to be helpful?
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LOL! Yes, I expect he was trying to be helpful in his own tactless way. He was genuinely worried that my hair was being sabotaged at the salon.
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Most likely learned in a previous relationship, my husband doesn’t comment on much. Even if I ask, it’s hard to get his opinion out of him. Hair and “does this make me look fat” will not get much at all. He will tell me if he doesn’t like a color (clothing not hair) but that’s about it.
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That’s probably a good thing! Hubby doesn’t usually say much about how I look. He takes for granted that I will look pretty good (not great) when gussied up and like “something a ragpicker wouldn’t stick his hook into” the rest of the time. Sometimes I’ll say, “I can’t go like this!” and he’ll say, “you look fine.” So when he does say my hair is thin, I worry!
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My husband is the same. There are times I will say, I can’t go until I comb my hair and he’ll say it’s fine. That’s what makes any comment so much more….ummm….unusual.
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Kate … One comedian said that men only talk 7,000 words a day because that’s all they can get in when their wives are talking. Not sure if that’s true. Dave is much quieter than I am. 😉
While I love your model’s hair style, I’ve been a wash and wear girl for decades. My gray hair is wavy and is long overdue for a cut. Haircut on Tuesday.
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No, I don’t think they talk even if it’s quiet! My hair isn’t too much work but it’s not quite as wash and wear as your ‘do!
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I’m a woman. I love women. My sisters. My tribe. But of those 20,000 words women speak a day, about 18,000 are unnecessary.
As for men, they don’t really say anything important, so who’s listening anyway?
As for hair, as you know, I don’t have any at the moment, and it’s wonderfully liberating. I didn’t think I’d ever say that but it’s true. Now I don’t have to worry about coloring, curling or even combing. Put on a colorful scarf and I’m good. Except I want a hat to wear to chemo that has fake rubber snakes all over it with some popping up as if to strike and the eyes light up. Let me know if come across one of those.
Cute post.
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When I had cancer I didn’t have chemo. I had radiation so I didn’t lose my hair. I was both happy about that and curious if the freedom from “hair maintenance” would make me rethink my routine. If I see that snake hat, I’ll let you know.
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I have very curly hair – frizzy at times – and when my nephew (who has straight golden strands) was about 2, he lifted his hand to pull a curl straight, let it go and watched it bounce back (kids love doing this for some reason) turned to his dad (my baby brother) and said in a very frustrated/confused voice WHY? – my brothers answer as a big sigh and a “we just don’t know!”
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That’s a great family story! I always wished my hair was curlier. I have waves and they can frizz too.
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I have wavy hair on one side, frizzy hair on the other and curly hair in the back… I am sure there are neighborhoods with straight hair too. After a lifetime of different kinds of perms, various hairstyles and tons of hair styling products I decided to grow it all out. Now I can wear it back in a pony tail or up in a clip… problem solved!
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I loved the perms of the 80s and 90s with layered hair. It worked for my hair and my face shape. However, that’s all gone and I make do with what I have. My hair is a dark blonde so I can’t see the grey. I was happy to hear the stylist say that I don’t have much. It doesn’t run heavily in my family. Just around the face a little. I did get my hair cut and it seems a lot shorter than I expected (but the wave bounces up quite a bit when cut). Not long enough for a pony here. Never get it quite that long. This summer with the heat I wished it was.
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I’m not a big talker. We people of fewer words enjoy having someone else around to take over that responsibility.
My very straight hair has been permed and set so many times over the years. Now, finally, I can let it be straight.
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From a style perspective, this is your time! Straight is definitely in.
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My wife says I probably use 50,000 words a day—and she suggested that’s on the conservative side. So whenever my wife returns from the salon and wants to know my impression about her hair, if I’m not too impressed by it, I tend to make it a point to hide my real impression somewhere in that avalanche of words. The good news is, if she didn’t catch my true feelings during that answer, she seldom wants me to repeat my response, as it might go on for days. ;o)
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You are a hoot! Your blog posts are little like that too. Sometimes I worry that I am missing the point. Then again maybe there isn’t any. 🙂
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Thank you Kate. Ah, don’t worry there’s no point, but I hope there’s plenty of laughs. :O)
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Always!
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;o)
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Well, at least you know he’s paying attention which is more than many women can say!
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One word in 20 years doesn’t mean he is paying attention. I don’t think he really cares how I wear my hair. He didn’t care when I accidently shaved a path in the back of his head (I forgot to put the clipper guide on).
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Oh, dear. He must be a patient man!
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Very patient!
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“Because I’m a real STRAIGHT shooter. That’s why!”
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😃
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My hair looks exactly like the model’s in your photo too. It’s naturally straight so no need for much styling. Of course, I’d love to have some of your natural wave. Now, if I also had the face of that model’s, I guess I wouldn’t be so concerned about how my hair looks. I think I’d be as surprised as you were if my husband made a comment about my hair.
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Styled hair can soften a “not perfect” face but a beautiful face doesn’t need hair. I thought when I would be my age I wouldn’t care at all. Alas, I do. I try different things. I no longer want to spend a lot of time but I like to be stylish.
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At least beloved husband notices your hair!!
Back when we were just dance partners, I had very long hair. When I had it cut above my shoulders the day of a big dance party, Andy never even noticed. It wasn’t until halfway through the evening, after watching the other hundred people in attendance exclaim over my short hair, that Andy stood next to me and tried to pretend he wasn’t clueless.
Andy’s best effort at blasé went along the lines of, “So, um, you took off what? Six inches? Eight inches of hair?”
I gave him a withering look. “Nice try. But don’t bother.”
He chuckled, shrugged, and only looked a tiny bit shamefaced. Since that time, I’ve been a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, and my hair has been multiple lengths.
Andy never notices. Someday I’m gonna shave my head and see what happens.
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Be thankful. There is nothing worse than a guy who has a picture in his head (usually of ultra long hair) and wants his mate to wear it. When I was young (and in my really changing hair days) I worked for guy who never noticed my hair. I too was blonde, redhead, brunette, short, long, didn’t matter. He never commented.
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My husband always like whatever hair style I choose to wear. I’ve never decided if he really does like it– or if he doesn’t want to get into an argument about my hair. No matter. This arrangement works just fine for me!
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This is the first time my husband has uttered a word about my hair so it was a surprise. Works for me too.
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Growing out bangs is absolutely the worst. That stage where they are in your eyes non-stop, too short to tuck behind ears yet. YUCK!!
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Yep, exactly where they were last week when it was hot and humid. I didn’t cut them real short but they are again in my eyes.
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Funny how one word (even if it’s meant as a compliment or mere observation) can stick in my head. I hate my hair! It’s curly and fine and frizzy in the humidity. I have about 5 good hair days a year. I have shaved my head in the past but my sweetheart has one word for that style when I suggest it; No. So, I’ve surrendered and let it go whichever way it wants to. But, come winter and dry weather…I will be blowdrying and flat ironing the hell out of it!
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Your hair looks good in your pictures. My hair has a substantial wave so wearing it straight means styling it. It’s not curly enough to wear curly. I don’t think anyone really likes their hair except those who don’t care at all.
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Of course I would prefer wavy hair which goes right to your point. 🙂 Keep on growing!
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Until my next hissy fit.
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Hubby used to tie my hair to my glasses to see if it had grown! These days, he could tie it in a bow. I cut it myself every couple of months, then after a few weeks, it seems to have a mad spurt and seems about an inch longer all of a sudden!
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If my hair is shorter I can cut it. I can cut the top or trim bangs but the cut I have now is too long for me to reach in the back. For most of my life I wore my hair long and it was easy. For me the shorter or in-between cuts take the most time.
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I hated the fuss of blow drying, or worse the Hilda look (Coronation Street of many years ago) with rollers and a scarf. And oh, the days of cutting my fringe which always seemed to go in the opposite direction to my eyebrows! It took me years to grow it out and I’d never have another. Always liked the perms though, wash and go, forever curly, no fuss, though Hubs said ‘You stink of Twink’ on more than one occasion!
These days, it’s long, greying and naturally wavy. To cut it, I just brush it all forward, then snip across in a line in sections. 😀
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Always loved perms myself. No fuss at all!
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Despite what you see in the mirror, I think your hair always looks nice. Ok, make it great! I am sorry you have to go to such great lengths (no pun intended….well maybe) to face the world, but really Kate, you and your hair always look good. I think mirrors are one of our most personal accessories! And unlike a great pair of earrings, they don’t always make us look the way we would like.
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OMG! You mean I don’t look like Meg Ryan (my idol)?
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I think she had her lips puffed! 😦
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The thing is that enhancements shouldn’t be noticed. They should be subtle and flattering. Guess when you are in “THAT” business you do these things regularly just to get jobs.
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Based on my experience….be glad he noticed your hair. I could shave my head and nothing would be said.
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I think that’s the first thing he has said about my hair in 20 years.
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