The government mandates licenses for a lot of things. You need a license to marry, to drive, to practice medicine and many professions require licenses too. This is to ensure that quacks don’t operate on us or defend us in court or fry our hair! (No smartass comments please!)
There are a few more areas that need to be licensed. Let’s see if you agree with me. You will notice that I have some strong opinions here that I usually don’t express publicly.
Do you really find this mushroom attractive?
Pruning – Yes, there should be a license to prune. I am sick of seeing square yellow forsythia bushes (poor things) or trees pruned completely back to the main trunk (not healthy for the tree!). The latest pruning style is to make lollipops and mushrooms out of bushes. What is all that about? I like my shrubs and trees in natural form. Plant something that will fit in the area when full-grown and you have eliminated a lot of work and expense. For more examples go here.
She could have your love child!
Procreation – Ok, this is a touchy one. I got married in Las Vegas. (No, Elvis did not perform the ceremony.) When we were at the license center, there was a long line. Some of the people did not have teeth or looked about 9 years old and were escorted by a parent. It was a really scary group. I have no problem with them getting married, I just wonder about them procreating more people without teeth or who marry relatives young! In addition to teeth (real or fake), you should be able to add 2 plus 2, not be related to your future spouse and do not need parental consent before you are allowed to procreate.
Dang! Do I want a frappucchino or a macchiatto?
Using the drive-through – Ok, you are saying this is pushing the envelope. A license for using a drive-through? Absolutely! How many times have you gone to the drive- through and the car in front dawdles until they finish their text? Or maybe leaves a lot of room between their car and the car in front so you can’t get to the order thingy? Or they order lots of stuff which should be an inside counter job? Or they don’t know what they want and ask a thousand questions? Case closed! You need to be tested on common sense before being allowed in a drive-through.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Can anyone add some other activities that should require a license?
Photo credits: Bad pruning by gardenaddicts (google); lady waiting for your lovechild by gawker (Flickr); and dog in drive-through by Bruno L’Hoste (Flickr)
Views and Mews by Coffee Kat 
How about a better license for people who drive cars?
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I’m good with that!
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Kate, you made some strong arguments. I agree.
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Oh, what a hoot!
Pruning! That first one looks like Sideshow Bob’s hair. Let the plant be a plant ( no wonder the vines seem to be getting organized and creeping over /into everything…they have had enough!
And children are not accessories! (Someone please inform the entertainment industry)
Maybe there ought to be a license before you can write a script/produce/direct a TV show or a commercial?
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Ohhhh! I like that suggestion!
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Yes to all three, in particular procreation. There needs to be a test… I might have failed 🙂
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I think we need a license to use a cell phone responsibly. I’m tired of talking to people who have one eye on their phones at all times! 🙂 Debra
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I agree! Especially people in line ordering something but talking on the cell at the same time!
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Yes! Yes! Yes! Especially as to squared off forsythia bushes. Some people ain’t got the sense they was borned with. 😉
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I love this post! And I think people should have to get a license to buy a puppy, especially during the holiday season. Oh, how cute! And then it dawns on the kids who promised to take care, that there’s work involved. The dog oftentimes is neglected and suffers, and then returned to the pound. Grrrr.
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Any pet actually. I saw a lopped earred rabbit in our local park. They are not native in our area so someone let their pet out in the park thinking that they will adapt. I felt so sorry for a pet who was used to being fed and didn’t need to find shelter. Hope it survived.
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I am with you 100%, especially regarding the breeding. Sometimes it’s necessary to chop down some family trees and call it a day.
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Great idea. Too bad it will never catch on!!
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funny thanks MJ
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I have never understood why the state requires someone to get a license to catch a fish, but not to become a parent.
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Most likely because they can’t stop it. I have been surprised that the government hasn’t tried to tax sex.
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Give them time. They’ll find a way.
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