The government mandates licenses for a lot of things. You need a license to marry, to drive, to practice medicine and many professions require licenses too. This is to ensure that quacks don’t operate on us or defend us in court or fry our hair! (No smartass comments please!)
There are a few more areas that need to be licensed. Let’s see if you agree with me. You will notice that I have some strong opinions here that I usually don’t express publicly.
Pruning – Yes, there should be a license to prune. I am sick of seeing square yellow forsythia bushes (poor things) or trees pruned completely back to the main trunk (not healthy for the tree!). The latest pruning style is to make lollipops and mushrooms out of bushes. What is all that about? I like my shrubs and trees in natural form. Plant something that will fit in the area when full-grown and you have eliminated a lot of work and expense. For more examples go here.
Procreation – Ok, this is a touchy one. I got married in Las Vegas. (No, Elvis did not perform the ceremony.) When we were at the license center, there was a long line. Some of the people did not have teeth or looked about 9 years old and were escorted by a parent. It was a really scary group. I have no problem with them getting married, I just wonder about them procreating more people without teeth or who marry relatives young! In addition to teeth (real or fake), you should be able to add 2 plus 2, not be related to your future spouse and do not need parental consent before you are allowed to procreate.
Using the drive-through – Ok, you are saying this is pushing the envelope. A license for using a drive-through? Absolutely! How many times have you gone to the drive- through and the car in front dawdles until they finish their text? Or maybe leaves a lot of room between their car and the car in front so you can’t get to the order thingy? Or they order lots of stuff which should be an inside counter job? Or they don’t know what they want and ask a thousand questions? Case closed! You need to be tested on common sense before being allowed in a drive-through.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Can anyone add some other activities that should require a license?
Photo credits: Bad pruning by gardenaddicts (google); lady waiting for your lovechild by gawker (Flickr); and dog in drive-through by Bruno L’Hoste (Flickr)