- To wander about or pass time languidly and aimlessly.
- To yearn or pine as if infatuated.
- Slang — to expose one’s buttocks in public as a prank or disrespectful gesture.
Courtesy of thefreedictionary.com
Some people are just lucky. They have a very good chance of winning a contest or a game or a lottery. That is not me.
Some people do exciting things like climb mountains and visit scary or exotic places. That is not me.
Some people excel at sports. Well, for sure that is not me.
There is something that happens to me though. Something that doesn’t happen to just anyone! I get mooned!
I was a late bloomer. It didn’t start in high school which is when a lot of mooning goes on. The first time it happened, I was in my thirties and at a friend’s picnic. Everyone was having a great time. Towards the end of the evening, the host mooned us. Yes, it was on a dare, but it wasn’t even a double-dutch dare. I, of course, claimed to have missed it, so he mooned us again. There they were, the biggest whitest globes ever. Wow!
That was the start of my days as a moon-ee (which is different from a moon-er).
As I (and my friends) matured (ahem), there wasn’t much mooning except maybe at an occasional sports event. That is one of the few good reasons to attend a sports event – streakers, mooners, hot dogs and beer. Acquiring a few pets has changed all that.
Those of you who have followed my animal lovers posts will remember that I blogged about my horny frogs. I wanted tadpoles so I tried to make the atmosphere as romantic as possible (for a frog). You can read about that here. As luck would have it, my frogs laid 200 eggs.
I thought the beloved husband would have a heart attack. He was envisioning an invasion of biblical proportions – hordes of frogs crawling all over.
Just like women, who have 1 million plus immature eggs stored in those ovaries at birth (really scary thought), frogs lay more eggs than actually hatch. About 20 frog eggs hatched into tadpoles and even less will survive to froghood.
The female frog ran off to greener ponds not long after the hatching (probably a good idea!). The male stayed around and croaks when I call him. He is just lovable. I hadn’t seen him for about a week. I even called him but there was no croaking answer. Just when I thought that he, too, had moved to greener ponds, I saw him but it was his back-end. The little stinker was mooning me! The more I called the more he twitched his tush. There was something vaguely familiar about all this. Then I remembered.
All of my cats love to sit on my lap. They prefer facing out so that I have a full view of the goods which I would prefer not to see at all. Sometimes in positioning themselves, they will be sure to stretch in such a way that the rump is inches from my face. Ug! It struck me – they, too, are mooning me!
Then I started to think of all the animal pictures I take – deer, birds, squirrels, other critters – they are all posterior views. Point the camera and all of these darn animals moon me! Is there no respect for the hand that feeds you?
No more wine and roses for the frogs.
Photo credits: first mooner by DenaDeathbringer (Photobucket), real frog is mine, mooner emoticon by smokejumperfirearms (Photobucket). The first lazy frog laying on his back was sent to me by a friend without an author. Thank you anonymous!