On the heels of cleaning out my closet, I have some questions for fashion designers.
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boody booster by Frederick’s of Hollywood
Who decided that pocket flaps on the rear were attractive? If I wanted to round out my derriere, I would buy those boody boosters from Fredericks of Hollywood. I find that pocket flaps stick straight out and always have to be ironed down. They create lumps on my rear when a sweater goes over them. How attractive is that?
- Why can’t they make up their mind about the length of tops? Some of my sweaters/t-shirts went into the donation basket because they were too long or too short. I know I can wear them anyway but I do like to be stylish at least for the current decade.
- Whatever happened to those nice shoulder pads that evened out your shoulders and hips and made you look smashing? I don’t mean the football pads of the 80s (ok, I loved those too) but just a nice little extra padding at the shoulder?
- There are just too many shades of beige. I don’t buy a lot of neutrals. Usually just one for each basic neutral color – one white top, one black top, one purple top (well, really maybe ten purple tops). When it comes to beige I must have four and they never go with anything. One is too yellow and one is too pink, one is too light and the other is just dull. There is no basic beige!
- That same problem exists for khaki pants. Some khaki colors are too dull to wear with clear colors and some khaki colors look like puke green. What gives?
- And why isn’t purple considered a basic neutral color?
- What’s with the color names too? It’s ok for O.P.I. to use obscure names because you can see the color of the polish. However, when I am looking for jeans or any clothes on-line, I really can’t tell what color pebble is. What color is a pebble? It can be any color. Then there is porcelain. Is that pale peach? Or is it pink? Will it work with any of my beige tops (probably not)?
- Why do shoes only hurt after you buy them and wear them long enough to not be able to return them? I think there is a conspiracy here!
I don’t understand why these would hurt. There must be some support there.
- Here is the mother of all questions for me – why does the same exact pants from the same exact designer fit differently according to where it was manufactured? Do Egyptian women have different dimensions from Kenyan women or Bangladesh women?
The one area I have to give credit to the designers is sizing. Over the years my weight has stayed the same but my size went down. In another decade I will be in negative sizes! Woo hoo!
Views and Mews by Coffee Kat 
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For years I lived in So Calif where bright colors are the norm. Then I moved to the SF Bay area and had to go out and buy black, grey and blue so I wouldn’t stand out like a pesky purple person. I certainly understand.
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Oh, Kate! This post is top notch. I’ve missed your wit and grace. I agree completely with you . . . especially about purple . . . and beige.
We need to reverse their roles in our wardrobes (b/c our rolls always look better and more majestic in a rich and royal hue rather than in non-basic beige or khaki)..
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You are so right about the beige and khaki problem. They are neutrals, but they never seem to be neutral enough. You’re better off to just go with the purple.
The pocket flaps are terrible, but what I find far more disturbing is pocket bling. I do not want rhinestones, glitter or large designs plastered on my ass. I want to divert attention away from that area, not make it sparkle in the sunlight.
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Your comment made me laugh. I did buy a pair of jeans with bling which I deposit everywhere I sit. My husband keeps telling me that I’m shedding.
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Clothes designers are crafty and crazy. Even in the stores sometimes, color matching can be difficult. You really need to see clothes in natural light. Shopping for clothes online is really a kind of gambling.
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I hear you on the “vanity sizing.” It explains why some celebrity who weighs more than 160 pounds can wear a size 6 or 8. Maddening. Because the sizes differ from one designer to the next, I’m forced me to try on all clothes before I buy them.
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Purple…a basic neutral colour.
Chocolate…a basic food group.
Life is good!
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You are my kind of person!
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I knew right away, Kate…we could be back-fence neighbours!!
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Good one Kate. I can’t make any sense out of fashion trends either, but I always eventually give in to the new lengths and the new colors about the time they are on their way out. 🙂
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Sounds very familiar!
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Even flap pockets that button seem to curl up stubbornly at the corners! And what color is lupine? What color is guava?
And size creep! I’ve written about that too:
http://notquiteold.wordpress.com/2011/08/29/size-creep/
Size creep is institutionalized vanity.
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Hmmmm…I think lupine is somewhere between pink and purple or maybe yellow to orange. Actually lupines come in a variety of colors. I have no idea what color a guava is. I kind of like size creep myself!
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Haha! Loved this! I don’t think I’ll ever look at beige the same way again.
Also, purple should be a basic neutral color!
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My thoughts exactly!
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