On the heels of cleaning out my closet, I have some questions for fashion designers.
Who decided that pocket flaps on the rear were attractive? If I wanted to round out my derriere, I would buy those boody boosters from Fredericks of Hollywood. I find that pocket flaps stick straight out and always have to be ironed down. They create lumps on my rear when a sweater goes over them. How attractive is that?
- Why can’t they make up their mind about the length of tops? Some of my sweaters/t-shirts went into the donation basket because they were too long or too short. I know I can wear them anyway but I do like to be stylish at least for the current decade.
- Whatever happened to those nice shoulder pads that evened out your shoulders and hips and made you look smashing? I don’t mean the football pads of the 80s (ok, I loved those too) but just a nice little extra padding at the shoulder?
- There are just too many shades of beige. I don’t buy a lot of neutrals. Usually just one for each basic neutral color – one white top, one black top, one purple top (well, really maybe ten purple tops). When it comes to beige I must have four and they never go with anything. One is too yellow and one is too pink, one is too light and the other is just dull. There is no basic beige!
- That same problem exists for khaki pants. Some khaki colors are too dull to wear with clear colors and some khaki colors look like puke green. What gives?
- And why isn’t purple considered a basic neutral color?
- What’s with the color names too? It’s ok for O.P.I. to use obscure names because you can see the color of the polish. However, when I am looking for jeans or any clothes on-line, I really can’t tell what color pebble is. What color is a pebble? It can be any color. Then there is porcelain. Is that pale peach? Or is it pink? Will it work with any of my beige tops (probably not)?
- Why do shoes only hurt after you buy them and wear them long enough to not be able to return them? I think there is a conspiracy here!
- Here is the mother of all questions for me – why does the same exact pants from the same exact designer fit differently according to where it was manufactured? Do Egyptian women have different dimensions from Kenyan women or Bangladesh women?
The one area I have to give credit to the designers is sizing. Over the years my weight has stayed the same but my size went down. In another decade I will be in negative sizes! Woo hoo!