The frog saga or desperate frog owners or sex is a pity!

This post is dedicated to and inspired by my friend Sharlene. She has nursed me through the pond process and counseled whenever I thought the end was near. (I can get theatrical about my pond!)

I love wildlife. I have been trying to coax critters to my pond since it was completed three years ago. I bought eight fish and now I have 40 so the pond must have some romantic aspects to it.

Although it’s small, I tried hard to incorporate little nooks and crannies where things could cuddle, make-out and hide eggs – just like in high school (except for the egg part). You know — like under the bleachers and in the back hallway. I even planted a shrub that would cover a small part of the pond so you couldn’t see what was going on. Think of it as a drive-in movie without the movie. Fish don’t watch movies anyway.

In any case I was very successful with the fish. In fact, I have started lecturing them on birth control. My pond ideally holds 15 fish according to those charts they have in pond stores. I have forty. Everyone seems happy and no one is sick or nipping at each other so what’s the big deal.

That happened because I bought a slut-fish. When I selected the fantails, there was one that was more gold than the others (fantails are fancy goldfish with fluffy fins). She wiggled more. I didn’t get it at the time but she is a big time slut. The first spring she had every fish following her. Stupid me — I didn’t realize what was going on. I wanted to scoop her out and put her in a tank for a couple of hours a day so she could get some rest. Well, she didn’t want rest! She spawned and spawned and spawned……and that is how I got from eight to 40 fish.

I encouraged snails and frogs too. In fact, I have purchased tadpoles each year hoping that they will metamorph (btw spellcheck says this isn’t a verb. that’s just wrong!) into wonderful frogs happily eating insects around my pond. After 15 plus tadpoles, I have two frogs who are currently courting. I have no idea where the rest went. Unlike children who frequently come home to roost, most of my frogs took off for greener pastures (or ponds).

After my experience with Goldie the slut-fish, I wasn’t expecting any courting. I thought these pond critters just get down to business and do it. I have been watching their behavior for three weeks and there has been no copulation that I have seen (and believe me I am a voyeur so I have watched – with binoculars! I hope that doesn’t upset the neighbors…).

I was thinking of laying some issues of Playboy around the pond for inspiration along with a little wine and cheese. How about some rose petals artistically tossed in the pond?

Let’s get some mojo going here! Teenage strangers have sex faster than these two.

If there is a lesson here, I’m not getting it. Maybe there is a book, “Frog Sex for Dummies?”

31 thoughts on “The frog saga or desperate frog owners or sex is a pity!

  1. Pingback: Getting mooned! | For animal lovers | Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

  2. Pingback: Getting mooned! | For animal lovers | Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

  3. Great post! Maybe you need a less old fashioned frog? Not quite as slutty as Goldie, just a little more progressive. . . maybe you need a soundtrack of frogs or something to get them in the mood. Like say, the frog version of Marvin Gaye or Barry White

  4. You are so lucky to have a pond – I’d really like one. They look so serene and soothing. Right now it would really help decorate the view which is crisscrossed with muddy dog trails. (Although the German might be tempted to slosh around in it or chase the frogs.) I have enviously watched my neighbor construct a pond with a waterfall. Fish selected….and kept disappearing…not the local cat, but a large raccoon is coming by every night selecting dinner. He seemed very miffed to be chased away. He frightens their small old dog…not sure what to do about the midnight buffet raiding.
    Got a real giggle out of this post. Keep us updated (and soothing pictures)

    • We don’t have a raccoon problem here but the blue herons. You can net the pond so things can’t get in and out but that’s the purpose. The helpful thing here is to run filament string across it so animals can’t walk in but the smaller birds and frogs have good access.

  5. My goodness! You have a very interesting pond! I have a pond, too, but unfortunately most of my fish get eaten before they have a chance to fully explore their sexuality! I’ll be watching them more closely now…I feel they may be missing out on their potential! Debra

  6. if only … questiion: what does a girl think when a guy meets up with you four fridays in a row…even invites himself over tonight but never makes a move … am I a friend?

    • Fortunately for us and all the pond dwellers, we didn’t have a repeat last year. There were only a few new small fry. I think some get eaten along the way but not many.

Don't be shy, I'd love to hear what you're thinking!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s