Old people, part 2

Just so everyone understands, old people are always people who are older than me. As I get older, so do old people. They will never be my age. That’s just how it is.

There was a time when I though 40 was old. That was a long time ago. I think that 60 is the new 40. There are some people I know who are 70 or very close to it and they look and act like they are 50. This post is not about them.

It’s also not about you, your wonderful Aunt Bessie or any dear friend. It is about annoying old people (who are much older than you). This is my second post about these folks – see Grey Heads. Obviously, I have strong feelings about this!

You know who you are! Here are the things that you do:

  • Run me over with your walker. You are always in a hurry (does the nursing home have a curfew???). Those things have sharp edges. You could chip my toenail polish if you don’t watch it!
  • Cut me off with your car. Please protect me St. Christopher – oops, didn’t he get fired? If you are driving you are not allowed to turn left or go straight on red. You are supposed to STOP! The pearly gates will wait for you. You don’t have to get there early. There are no early bird specials.
  • Putz in your car so you get through the green light but I don’t. Putzing is driving anywhere from the speed limit on down or slower than me. When the light is green, you gotta drive like you are late for bingo! You may miss the special? Or, God forbid, the coffee cake!
  • Act pathetic so I let you in front of me at the checkout. Then you proceed to need all kinds of special attention. You have your entire order rechecked because bread can’t possibly be more than a dollar. You make the cashier rebag your order into 28 different bags so nothing weighs more than 6 ounces. You picked up 2% milk by mistake. You really need 1%. Could someone exchange this for you? You get the picture. Every other line has emptied except the one I am in. The store is closing and here I am….
  • Complain! About everything (yawn!). Did you ever listen to yourself? (Let me make this perfectly clear – this is a rant, not a complaint!)

If you don’t straighten out, there will be a part 3! Enough said! Oh yes, have a nice day!

Photo courtesy of Aland Rob via Flickr

9 thoughts on “Old people, part 2

  1. Great post! Old peeps are neat — except behind the wheel of a vehicle. For example, my mom, who is no longer allowed to drive ’cause the last time she did, she darn near ran over everybody else on the road, bless her heart.

  2. Ah! Those walkers! What about canes? Those canes with the 4 prong rubber capped bottoms are just great when plopped on top of your foot. (Sometimes I think they are imitating Moses parting the red sea the way they wave those things around in a crowd.) Funny post

  3. Lol! They never seem to have anything else to do with their time. I’ve noticed that since I’m in my 30′s I now refer to all the twenty somethings as kids. Anyone younger than me, right? :)

  4. Very amusing. I hope I don’t become a curmudgeon when I’m older because God knows I’m cranky enough now. (Not really, but I sometimes have that potentiall.) Thanks for reminding me why I don’t want to go there.

  5. LOL! We were just talking about this today at work. Old men think they can say ANYTHING to you because they’re old, it’s like they have some sort of free pass. An older woman heard us and chimed in with..”girls, it will happen until the coffin lid closes” we were laughing out loud. I’ll share this with them tomorrow.

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